Elaine zitner

Say it sooner. Or at least let your inner Jerry Springer say it first.

One of the tools I use in coaching is what I jokingly call the Jerry Springer Method.

For 2–3 minutes, you get to say the things you’d never actually say in the meeting.

No censoring. No fixing. No trying to be the bigger person.

Tough conversations usually aren’t hard because of the conversation itself.

They’re hard because of everything that’s happening before the conversation.

We make up stories about what they’ll say.
We predict how they’ll react.
We convince ourselves we know how it will end.

We become fortune tellers.

Once that part has had its say, something shifts.

You stop leading with assumptions and start leading with curiosity.

That’s where stronger relationships are built. Better conversations happen. Trust grows. And leadership becomes a whole lot easier.

This is where the magic happens.

The employee who’s quietly checked out might reconnect to purpose.

The person with great ideas might finally speak up.

You might finally have the conversation you’ve been avoiding and leave with more space, understanding and freedom in your body instead of carrying it around for days.

And your family will probably thank you too… because they’re tired of hearing about how Terry was in the meeting. 😂

If you’ve been avoiding a conversation, overthinking one, or replaying it in your head, I made a guide to help.

Comment “say it sooner” and I’ll send it to you.

And send this to someone who could use a little help having a difficult conversation

Anyone else??

If you’re trying to figure out what’s next, here’s where I’d start:

1. Values - What actually matters to you? What do you want more (and less) of in your work and life?

2. Strengths - Not just what you’re good at—but what lights you up. The things that give you energy, not just the things you’ve become competent at.

3. Your Internal Team (Parts/Personas) - Who’s running the show inside your head?

The achiever? The perfectionist? The people pleaser? The adventurer?

Which parts are helping you move forward…and which ones are keeping you stuck?

4. Create a living, breathing vision, a direction that leaves room for magic while pointing you toward where you want to go.

What do you actually want your work and life to look and feel like?

Don’t worry about “how” just yet.

Once you’re clear on the “what”, there are many paths to the how.

One last thing…

Fears, assumptions, and limiting beliefs will show up. That’s normal.

Don’t let them shrink your exploration.

Notice them. Write them down. Then keep dreaming anyway.

You’ll have time to work through them later.

Send this to someone who’s trying to figure out what’s next but doesn’t know where to start.

✌️ez

The kind of magic I’m talking about isn’t about rabbits in hats or luck.

It’s what happens when you slow down long enough to hear yourself again.

When you get clear on what you actually want, work through the fears and stories that have been keeping you stuck, and start moving toward work that’s aligned with who you are now.

One of the biggest surprises in my work is that more than half of the people who come to me with “what’s next?” Aka career confusion don’t leave their organization.

Not because they settle.

Because they don’t need to.

Once they get clear on what they actually want they start leading more confidently, speak up, set stronger boundaries, step into new opportunities, and often create roles that didn’t exist before.

They stop trying to fit into work that no longer fits them and start shaping work that does.

The response I hear over and over is:

“I honestly didn’t think this was possible.”

They came looking for a new job.

They created work that supported the life they actually wanted to live.

💛 If you’re ready to get clear on what’s next and work through the blocks that have been keeping you stuck, send me a DM. I’d love to explore the magic that is possible.

I wish I had the answer to this piece of the puzzle.

I have processes, frameworks and tools that help people get clear on where they are, where they want to go, and the inner work that gets in the way of getting there.

But I don’t have a formula for competing priorities.

Right now, mine look like building a business I love while wanting to be deeply present with my 3.5 and 5-year-olds, showing up for my aging parents, and navigating a 48-year-old perimenopausal body.

They all matter.

They all deserve my attention.

And my attention is limited.

Every day feels like a constant reprioritization.

I think most people trying to figure out what’s next are navigating some version of this.

Maybe yours is the part that wants stability battling with the part that wants something bigger.

Maybe it’s your career and your family.

Your health and your ambition.

Your finances and your dreams.

Competing priorities look different for all of us.

What’s helped me isn’t another productivity hack.

It’s taking the pressure off.

Trusting that clarity unfolds over time.

Doing one small thing each day that moves my business forward, even if no one else notices it.

And giving myself permission to be fully present on the days my family needs me more than my work does.

It’s not sexy, and I don’t have a perfect answer.

But I do believe we can make it a little easier by learning from each other.

So I’m curious…

What’s one thing that’s helped you navigate competing priorities...or what’s the hardest part right now?

(P.S. Yes, I know I could ask AI. 😊 But one of my core values is connection, and this feels like one of those conversations that’s better had with real people.)

💛 Competing priorities don’t have a simple solution.

But there is a process for getting clear once you’re ready to make space for what’s next.

Comment “WORKBOOK” and I’ll send you the step-by-step workbook as soon as it’s ready.

And if you’re ready to make figuring out what’s next a priority, send me a DM. I’d love to chat about the different ways we can work together.

This is where clarity meets action. Cause knowing what you want and creating it are two very different things and it starts with answering these 3 questions ….

1️⃣ Where are you now? Get honest about your current reality.

2️⃣ Where do you want to go? Create a vision before you build a plan. Then….

3️⃣ How will you get there? This is where your vision meets reality.

Yes, there’s the practical side:

What are your next steps?

What resources do you need?

What might get in the way?

What support do you need?

What’s a realistic timeline?

But there’s another side that matters just as much.

The identity work.

Because most people don’t get stuck because they don’t know what to do.

They get stuck because of the thoughts, beliefs, and patterns that keep pulling them back to where they are.

Ask yourself:

STOP - What thoughts, beliefs, or actions are keeping me stuck?

START - What conversations, habits, or experiments do I need to begin?

CONTINUE - What’s already working that I need to keep doing?

Career clarity isn’t one big decision. It’s a series of small experiments that move you closer to the life and work you actually want.

The framework:

1️⃣ Where are you now?
2️⃣ Where do you want to go?
3️⃣ How will you get there?

If you want the full process, I’m putting it all into a workbook.

Comment “WORKBOOK” and I’ll send it to you when it’s ready.

Give yourself permission to stop making this so hard.

I know you’ve been stuck in the loop for a while.

One good day at work and you think,

“Maybe I can make this work after all.”

One bad day and you’re back to,

“Get me out of here. There has to be something more.”

Then you scroll LinkedIn.

Update your résumé.

Wonder if a new job will finally be the answer.

Maybe you’re getting tired of the loop.

Good.

Because that’s your cue to try something different.

Stop focusing on the job for a minute...

and start focusing on you.

What do you actually want your work and your life to look like?

What kind of work gives you energy?

What kind of environment brings out the best in you?

What stories, assumptions or patterns might be keeping you stuck?

Get clear first.

Then build the strategy.

I’ve found that when you know what you’re moving toward, making career decisions becomes so much easier than simply trying to escape where you are.

💛 I’m putting the finishing touches on a workbook that walks you through this entire process.

Comment WORKBOOK if you’d like me to send it to you when it’s ready.

Sometimes the things you can’t see have the greatest impact.

Think about wind. Think about feelings. Both can knock you flat without any warning.

The same is true when you’re trying to get clear on what’s next with your work and your life.

There’s an undercurrent running underneath all of it.
Thoughts, beliefs, patterns that have been quietly running the show for a long time.

You might not see it but you probably feel it.

At 3am staring at the ceiling.

Replaying the presentation in the shower for the hundredth time.

That voice that says…..

“It’s not possible.”

“Who are you to want that?”

“I’ll never be good enough.”

Or the tension between the part of you that wants to stay and the part that knows it’s time to go.

You get the idea. Heck, you’re probably living it.

Good news friends …..

When you attend to the undercurrent instead of ignoring it, something opens up.

Space for exploration. For creativity. For seeing what’s actually possible.

Figuring out what’s next gets so much clearer when you’re centered and clear on the inside first.

This is part of the work I do with clients.

Follow if you want more on how to work with the undercurrent, and what becomes possible when you do.

And if you want a workbook that walks you through the whole process, comment WORKBOOK and I’ll send it to you once it’s ready. 🌿

✌️ EZ

A small shift in the order of operations can save you months (or years) of overthinking.

Really.

Instead of focusing on the career part of career confusion...focus on the confusion part.

Before you update your résumé, ask yourself:

What do I actually want? Not just in a job. In my work.In my life.

-How do I want to spend my days?
-What kind of work lights me up?
-What kind of environment brings out the best in me?

Once you’re clear on that, the job becomes a vehicle not the destination.

Then you can build a plan to get there.

Maybe it takes two months. Maybe it takes two years.

But at least you’re moving toward something that actually fits instead of bouncing from one job to the next hoping this one will feel different.

And yes...I know what you’re thinking.

“If I knew what I wanted, I wouldn’t be confused.”

Exactly. That’s the work.

Not finding the perfect job. Finding yourself.

And fair warning...once you start moving toward what you really want, things will come up.

Fear. Doubt. Guilt. Stories about what other people will think. The voice telling you to just be grateful.

None of that means you’re on the wrong path. It’s often part of finding the right one.

This is the approach that’s made the biggest difference for me and many of my clients.

What do you think? What’s been the biggest thing getting in the way of figuring out what’s next?

Instead of applying for jobs, I started by getting clear on what I actually wanted from my work and my life.

Once I had that, it became much easier to see a path forward.

I wasn’t just trying to get away from something that wasn’t working anymore.

I was moving toward something that actually fit.

Scrolling LinkedIn can be great for ideas, networking, and seeing what’s out there.

But it won’t tell you what you want.

That’s work only you can do.

Wouldn’t it be nice if your next job wasn’t just the one you could get…

…but the one that actually aligned with who you are, how you like to work, and what you want your life to look like?

That’s a very different way to build a career.

💛 let me know if you found this helpful and if you want more follow along, I’ll make another one on how to create the plan

✌️ez