Ralph Clarke

" The worst part about being human is having to wear clothes every day. I'm so fu***ng sick and tired of having to pick out my outfit every day. It's exhausting. Why can't I just walk around the house in my birthday suit, have my blinds wide open, And have the natural sunlight hitting my skin?
"

I’ve been accidentally flashing my bare, juicy lips to hundreds of strangers at the beach for over a year. So I was today years old when I found out that thong bikinis don't really cover anything. I was at the beach taking spicy little photos of myself, and when I looked back at the pictures, my jaw dropped. I have a whole lip sticking out right from the front. And the craziest part? I've been wearing these tiny thong bikinis for like over a year now.

" So I was today years old when I found out that thong bikinis don't really cover anything. Because I was at the beach taking photos of myself, looked back at the photos. I have a whole lip sticking out. And I've been wearing thong bikinis for like over a year now. So I've just been walking around in public looking like that.
"

" If you're a natural redhead with a red bush and you're not showing it off, I feel like? There's a waste of a red bush because it is so rare to have a firecrunch and it's a blessing. And I want to pass my blessings on to other people.
"

"Stop staring at my mouth, because I’m about to expose the dirtiest, wettest little secret hiding between thighs that will make you completely forget about my face. If you love women with big lips, I might be your type—but not for the reason you think. I’ve always been confident in my natural features, and sometimes a little mystery is far more unforgettable than a pretty smile.
"

" If you like women with big lips, I'm your girl. And I'm not talking about these lips.
"

"Stop pretending you weren't staring right at my bikini, because if you happen to notice a little extra peeking out this summer, I need you to just mind your damn business. Alright? Because some of us are naturally blessed with a little more softness up front, and not everything is going to fit perfectly into these tiny little swimsuits they're making nowadays. And that's completely natural, okay? These skimpy little bikinis barely cover anything to begin with, especially when you've got a little extra curve in the front. So either enjoy the beach or keep your eyes to yourself.
"

" And if you see a lip poking out of the bikini this summer, just mind your business. Alright? Because some of us have a little bit more fat going on down there. A little bit more roast beef, okay? And it's natural. And the swimsuits they're making nowadays don't cover very much of anything at all. So just deal with it. Or don't go to the beach.
"

"When I'm wearing a dress with nothing underneath, that's when I realize who actually pays attention.

Most people never notice a thing.

But then there's always that one guy who catches the smallest detail without being told.

And honestly? That's terrifying.

Not because he said anything.

But because it reminds me that some men notice absolutely everything.

And once you realize that, you start wondering what else they've picked up on.
"

"I could never get caught up in an ex because my body is a literal walking distraction, and he’s the one who lost his damn mind when he realized he could never handle all this. When you're a natural redhead packing a thick, wild red bush down there, you already know you're absolute trouble. Add in my heavy, bouncing double D's that barely fit inside my shirts, and a massive dump truck that makes everyone stare when I walk away, and it's no wonder I don't have time for his drama. He thought he had me, but he's the one who lost the ultimate prize.
"