Aligned & Curious

Noticing....
How easy it is to lose the silly bits of ourselves when life is full.
And how good it feels when they sneak back in.
A silly moment.
A stupid joke.
Dancing in the kitchen to your favourite song.
Messing about in the sea.
Nothing productive.
Nothing important.
Just a little bit of you showing up.
When did you last have a moment of silly?

A little community question…
Do you listen to podcasts?
If you do, I'd love to know why you listen as well as what you listen to.
What do you get from a podcast?
What are your top 3 recommendations and why do you listen to them?
Let's share them in the comments and see what everyone else is listening to.
Full disclosure.... I've never listened to a podcast, and I'm curious too!
Take a look through the replies, you might find your next favourite.

We celebrate breakthroughs in research.
We celebrate new treatments, new technology, new understanding of health and disease.
So why, when our understanding of neurodivergence is growing, does so much of the conversation seem to focus on shaming the people who are finally getting the opportunity to understand themselves?
Why are we looking backwards instead of forwards?
Why aren't we saying:
Look how much we are learning.
Look at how much we still have to learn.
Let's keep going.
Let's start listening to the people who have spent years struggling in environments that didn't understand what they needed.
Let's listen to the people who have been labelled difficult, lazy, disruptive, too sensitive, too much, not trying hard enough.
Let's listen to the people who are finally finding language for experiences they've carried their whole lives.
And then let's ask:
How can we support more people now?
How can we improve environments?
How can we remove unnecessary barriers?
How can we help people understand themselves rather than spend even more energy trying to hide who they are?
How can we give people the opportunity to discover what they're capable of when they're no longer constantly fighting environments that don't fit them?
Because this isn't the end of the story.
It's the beginning of a much better one.
We are learning.
And yes, some of what we thought we knew is changing.
That's what research and development is supposed to do isn't it?
So why does the media need to fuel doubt and shame instead of celebrating progress?
I'd much rather we asked:
What could become possible if we listened?

Today's definition of ADHD procrastination.
While getting myself in an inexplicable pickle about my photoshoot tomorrow, I decided to clean the house.
Then to distract myself from cleaning the house, I decided to hand wash all my bras.
However, I got distracted from washing my bras and discovered the boys school bags.... Unopened since the last day of school!
That led me to going through endless school books... For absolutely no reason at all, which distracted me from dealing with the crushed custard creams in the bottom of one bag!
The result of all this...
Finding my entire selection of bras soaking in the bath at 8pm and stressing about whether I'll have a dry bra for my photoshoot tomorrow.
A photoshoot which I'm now in an inexplicable pickle about..... Again!!
It's a good job I've learnt to laugh at myself!!!

A little shout out to the parents who have a constant internal dialogue running through your own head.
A brain that can analyse any situation multiple times at the most inconvenient moments, while rerunning numerous conversations, starting hundreds of new projects, scrolling for the adrenaline hit of buying all the necessary materials and trying to focus on a completely unrealistic to do list that must be completed in the next 47 minutes precisely...
All while also raising a child whose internal dialogue is very much External!?
All day.
Every thought.
Every question.
Every observation.
Every song lyric ever heard, sound that can be recreated, problem that can be pondered... Out loud!
All with an expectation of engagement too, obviously.
Oh and it doesn't stop at night does it?
It's a lot when your own brain doesn't take a breath.
Just checking in with fellow parents who are living this.
Anyone else dreaming of total silence?

I nearly didn't share this.
When I looked at the photo I took, I noticed it wasn't quite perfect.
And that old voice of perfection, the one that worries about being judged showed up.
But then I reminded myself I didn't do this for the photo anyway.
It wasn't about perfection.
Or even about sharing it.
It was about the fun I had making it.
Time for me.
Time I lost myself in something I was enjoying.
It was about how much fun I had finding the shells.
While the little men were having some holiday downtime, I found myself some too.
And I think we forget the importance of these moments as parents.
We're so used to finding things for our children to do, keeping them entertained, getting through our todo list, or prioritising whatever needs doing next.
We forget that we need moments that are simply ours too.
So here's mine from today.
Not perfect.
Not productive.
My moment.
What moment for yourself can you create?

If nothing stood in your way, what would your next step be?
Pause, just for a moment
Without asking what needs doing.
A moment's break from what everyone else needs from you.
Forget what’s practical.
If there was nothing in the way…
What would you choose?
You don't have to do anything with the answer.
Just notice it.
Notice how your body feels when you let it imagine.
Let me know what came up for you.

Feeling all the feels on the final school run of junior school today.
Not only has littlest man been on a significant journey through the school, I have too.
We often think about school in terms of how our children are supported. But when your child moves through the world a little differently, the support we receive as parents is significant too.
Being seen and heard is just as important for us as it is for our children.
I feel incredibly grateful to have been part of a school community where we've felt seen, heard and supported throughout our journey.
I also know that hasn't been true in every environment I've been part of, and I know many parents have never experienced it.
It's taught me just how powerful it is to feel genuinely seen and heard and is part of the foundations of the way I show up for others.
I'd love to hear what your experiences are of feeling seen and heard, and what support would make a difference?

In my 20's, I walked into an office and told them why they wanted to employ me.
It wasn't in response to a job advert, it was from a letter (like an actual pen and paper letter!) inviting myself for a chat with them.
By the end of the meeting I had talked them through their business needs, made myself an essential factor in those plans and created a job title.
I left with a job offer.
I left my home town, moved over 100 miles away and proceeded to meet some of the best people I have in my life, (and have awesome nights out like this!)
Where is she now?
Where is that sass, that confidence, that self belief.
We often see posts asking, 'what would you say to your younger self'. But I wonder, what would that younger self have to say to 50 year old me!!
What advice would the younger you give to yourself right now?
Drop me a line if you'd like a free 15 minute call to find out more about how I can support you.