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The Goodness of a Man
By
Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA)
24/07/2026

The goodness of a man is seldom seen
When he abides among mankind,
Revealing itself only in his absence,
When he has gone beyond the reach of sight.
That is the nature of man:
He rarely values what dwells beside him,
But treasures what lies far beyond his grasp.
Slow is man to remember your virtues,
Yet swift to recount your failures.
He values not what rests in his hands,
But struggles to gather what lies beneath his feet.
Never content with what sustains him,
Just like the chicken that cleans its beak,
Feigning hunger after a full meal.
Families seldom recognize your worth,
For they once beheld your nakedness.
Society scarcely feels the impact of your adulthood,
Because it witnessed your weakness in childhood.
Even friends will doubt your ability to lead,
While exalting strangers who may mislead.
They close their ears to your words of wisdom,
Seal their hearts against your counsel,
Yet listen keenly to the unfamiliar voices of strangers,
Spending their wealth in pursuit of wisdom beyond their reach,
While offering little or no gratitude for what you freely give.
Let this be a reminder to all mankind,
Especially those who pretend not to see your goodness,
That the goodness of a man is found not in appearance,
Nor in status or abundant wealth,
But in the footprints he leaves behind.
So, judge not a book by its cover,
But by the wisdom contained within its pages.
I may be hated for my goodness,
Or even destroyed for my kindness,
Yet one thing remains clear and undiluted:
My goodness shall continue to sprout,
Bearing fruit for generations yet unborn.

© 2026 Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA). All rights reserved.

Knowledge Beyond Books
By
Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA)
17/07/2026

Knowledge is never confined to books;
Wisdom does not dwell in lifeless pages.
Both are more than letters bound in print;
They are enlightenment revealed for the betterment of life.
Leadership, too, is not forged
From the knowledge and wisdom of ordinary texts.
If this were so,
Then the leadership of humanity
Would have been barren of purpose.
The world itself would have stood still,
Waiting for invented literature.
From where come knowledge and wisdom
That shaped the world until now?
Was it not drawn from divine insight,
Sacred understanding bestowed from above?
When truth is spoken in its bitter fullness,
It sobers and softens the hearts
Of those who seek guidance,
Yet inflicts pain and anguish
Upon those who desire falsehood.
The truth, therefore, is this:
Seeking abundant knowledge in books,
Gaining overflowing wisdom from pages,
Without grounding oneself in divine literature,
Is emptiness to the seeker—
A hollow mind, an empty intellect;
Worst of all, it is like a bin filled with waste,
Awaiting disposal in places
Where none chooses to dwell.
Attaining doctorates in Western learning
Without divinely guided wisdom
May become a hollow achievement,
A refined form of ignorance.
Professorships built upon published papers,
Yet lacking the guiding wisdom of Holy Scripture,
Are like a blind bat in the darkest night,
Flying toward destruction.
Judgments founded solely on constitutions
Written by human hands and minds,
At the expense of the principles and commandments
Inscribed by the Divine in Holy Scripture,
Lead only to failed justice
And flawed verdicts.
If Western education were the sole custodian
Of the knowledge and wisdom
That have governed the world since creation,
Then how did the great kings and prophets
Lead their people with purpose
Without the ability to read or write?
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom,
And reverence for Him is the acquisition of knowledge.
So, alas:
Knowledge is not born of Western education,
Nor is wisdom earned solely in classrooms.
Both are found in reverence for divine truth.
Only the truly wise and God-fearing hearts,
Who seek knowledge and wisdom
From both the divine and the earthly realms,
May walk securely upon the earth
And journey safely into the hereafter.

© 2026 Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA).
All rights reserved.

*S*x: A Physical Transaction or an Emotional Bond?*

By Counsellor Illomah Abudu(CIA).

The dynamic nature of s*x makes it a difficult topic to discuss. Our faith or belief systems sometimes limit open conversations about s*x in marriage. In addition, individual perceptions, beliefs, and understanding of s*x vary widely, making the subject even more complex. The expectations and demands for s*x between married couples also differ from one relationship to another.

S*x is intended to be an exclusive expression of intimacy between married couples, helping to strengthen their emotional, psychological, and spiritual bond. Sadly, in many situations today, s*x has been reduced to a mere physical transaction. It is increasingly treated as a commodity that is exchanged for money, gifts, or other material benefits. This attitude undermines the natural purpose for which it was created.

It is now common to see some people commercially trading intimacy for financial or material gain. More concerning is that this transactional mindset has, in some cases, entered marriage itself. Some spouses may refuse intimacy unless certain demands are met.

Requiring cash, a car, a house, expensive gifts, or other material rewards before or after intimacy turns s*x into a business transaction rather than an expression of love, affection, and mutual commitment.
Once s*x becomes transactional within marriage, the emotional, psychological, and spiritual connection between husband and wife may gradually weaken. Intimacy should build unity, not become a bargaining tool.

A question that often arises is: Is it right for a husband or wife to ask for s*x in marriage? The answer is yes, but with important conditions. Either spouse has the right to express a desire for intimacy, provided it is done with love, respect, and consideration for the other person's feelings, health, and circumstances. Such a request should never be accompanied by manipulation, coercion, or the expectation of material rewards.

S*x in marriage is meant to benefit both husband and wife. It is not merely a physical act but also an emotional, psychological, and, for many couples, a spiritual experience that strengthens their relationship. When love, mutual respect, and selfless commitment guide intimacy, s*x fulfils its true purpose of deepening the marital bond rather than becoming a transactional exchange.

SOLVING MARITAL GLITCHES: AN INDIVIDUAL FIGHT OR A COLLECTIVE BATTLE?
By
Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA)

Marital problems are inevitable and unavoidable in every marriage. They may appear as minor or major challenges, or, better still, as simple, complicated, or complex issues. Regardless of their nature or intensity, every marital problem requires a solution. There is no marital challenge without a possible remedy.
The ability of couples to recognize the mistakes they have committed against each other and to work together toward resolving them often makes the solution easier to achieve. While some marital challenges can be resolved individually, others require a collective effort. In many cases, the intervention of trusted third parties can provide valuable guidance and support in finding lasting solutions.
For instance, certain marital problems require spiritual strength to overcome. When couples seek divine intervention—whether individually or together—they often find the courage, wisdom, and peace needed to address their challenges. However, when they lack the spiritual resilience to face such difficulties on their own, seeking assistance from religious leaders such as pastors, imams, or other respected spiritual authorities may become necessary. Their prayers, counselling, and guidance can help couples navigate difficult moments.
Likewise, some marital conflicts require practical and emotional responses rather than spiritual intervention. Simple acts of kindness, sincere apologies, forgiveness, open communication, and thoughtful gestures can heal wounded hearts and restore harmony. Such issues should be approached with wisdom, humility, and mutual understanding, whether addressed individually or jointly.
In conclusion, human beings possess the capacity to solve or effectively manage many of their problems. No marital problem is entirely beyond solution when both partners are willing to work toward reconciliation. One of the defining qualities that distinguishes humans from other creatures is our ability to think, reason, and make informed decisions. Therefore, resolving marital glitches should be viewed as either an individual responsibility or a collective effort, depending on the nature and severity of the problem, as well as the emotional, spiritual, and practical strengths of the couple involved.

The Jealousy of a Wife
By
Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA)
08/02/2026

The jealousy of a wife,
Amidst multiple partners,
Within the abode of a man
Who keeps two or more concubines,
Dwells a jealousy—
A jealousy born from the depths
Of a heart that has lost its faith;
A jealousy more dangerous than wildfire,
Consuming everything along its path.
A jealousy that yearns only for monogamy,
While nature seems to permit polygamy.
She longs to possess him alone,
Yet her strength cannot bear the burden.
She contends with everything,
Cursing everyone—even nature itself.
She wages a battle already lost,
Mistaking folly for wisdom.
Within her burns a jealousy
She herself cannot define or explain—
A jealousy capable of destroying
The man she once loved;
The fruits of her own womb;
Leaving her children in hunger,
And her husband in despair.
It may even cast her rivals into the world beyond,
Destroying possessions meant for future generations,
Laying waste to families and relationships
Beyond all hope of repair.
Or worse still,
Turn upon herself.
This kind of jealousy is indeed strange—
Drawn from the heart of darkness.
She seeks no companionship,
Only the satisfaction of selfish desire,
With no concern for the fulfilment of others.
She believes the provisions are insufficient,
Forgetting that nature provides for all—
Whether two, three, or four mouths to feed.
None shall hunger beneath Nature's care,
Not even for a passing day.
But let us not forget another truth,
One equally certain:
The jealousy she displays in anger
Is not always as evil as we think.
There is also the jealousy born of love and compassion—
A jealousy that guards not only herself,
But also the man she loves,
The offspring of her womb,
Against the evil intentions of some concubines;
Preventing the separation of her union,
The death of her companion,
And the loss of the inheritance meant for her children.
Thus, her jealousy—
Be it dark or divine—
Is judged not by its presence,
But by the harvest it leaves behind.

© 2026 Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA).
All rights reserved.

HEROES ARE NOT BORN
By
Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA)
09/01/2026

Heroes are not born;
They are made—
A timeless truth proven through every generation.
Even those who inherit a path
Or continue from where others stopped
Must labour on;
For success without labour is fruitless,
Dreams without effort are useless,
And hope without work is emptiness.
Laziness never begot heroes;
Only hard work gives birth to greatness.
Just as a child born today
Does not become an adult overnight,
And a tree planted today
Cannot bear fruit the same day,
Good names do not fall from the sky;
They are earned through good deeds.
The richest man you see today
Was not born with his wealth.
Even the greatest scientists
Earned their greatness through labour.
Inventors endured sleepless nights
To bring forth ideas once unimaginable.
Psychologists sharpened their minds through years of study,
Relentlessly pursuing excellence.
Philosophers are architects of thought,
Not idle voices devoid of wisdom.
Scholars, poets, and writers
Burned the midnight candle
While others slept.
Destiny prepares the road;
Patience and endurance pave the way.
Hard work turns the wheel,
And perseverance carries heroes to their destination.
Alas!
This stands as a lasting truth:
Heroes are not born—
They are made.
© 2026 Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA).
All rights reserved.

THE CONTRIBUTION OF TEACHERS TO STUDENTS’ SUCCESS OR FAILURE
By Counsellor Illomah Abudu (C.I.A)

The success or failure of students depends on several factors, which may be biological, physical, or environmental. Biological factors such as intelligence alone cannot determine students’ success unless physical and environmental conditions are favourable. The environment in which students find themselves contributes greatly to their academic outcomes. For instance, an intelligent student who attends a poorly resourced school that lacks qualified teachers, adequate infrastructure, teaching and learning materials may eventually perform poorly. Conversely, a less intelligent student who attends a well-equipped school with sufficient educational resources may succeed academically.

Within the school environment, teachers serve as the pivot of students’ success or failure. Their contribution to students’ academic and personal development is immense. Teachers impart knowledge and skills, mould students’ character and behaviour, instil discipline, guide career choices, expose learners to acceptable societal norms and values, and teach obedience to rules and regulations. However, these contributions are effective only when teachers apply sound professional practices in handling students.
The contribution of teachers to students’ success or failure should always be a major concern to every teacher. A dedicated and hardworking teacher will do everything possible to ensure students succeed, whereas a lazy or indifferent teacher may not care about students’ academic outcomes.
Although the knowledge teachers impart through instruction is important, it is not sufficient on its own. Teachers must also consider other factors that significantly influence students’ success or failure. In some cases, teachers’ attitudes and behaviour towards students can have lasting effects on their lives.
Teachers’ perceptions of students, as well as what they say or do to them, can either build or destroy their confidence and future potential. Therefore, teachers must cultivate the habit of expecting the best from their students, recognizing that every learner is unique and gifted in different ways. For example, students taught by teachers who believe in their abilities and potential tend to perform better than those whose teachers assume they cannot learn based on perceived intelligence levels.
This demonstrates that teachers’ high expectations can positively shape students’ outcomes. Imagine how well students might perform when teachers consistently encourage them with statements such as: You can do it; you are smart; I like your effort; keep trying; you learn fast; you are a great thinker; you have made a good attempt; you can do better. Such positive reinforcement motivates learners to strive for excellence.
On the contrary, low teacher expectations can lead to a decline in students’ academic performance, ultimately resulting in failure. Teachers who frequently use negative words or insults—such as idiot, stupid boy or girl, dull student, you are useless, you cannot do anything in life, or similar derogatory expressions—undermine students’ self-esteem and confidence. These words can destroy students’ morale and willingness to work hard, leading to poor academic performance. Teachers who use such language should not expect to produce excellent or high-achieving students, as they have already hindered their progress through discouragement.

In an attempt to correct misbehaviour, some teachers resort to insults or harsh words when students disobey instructions, without first seeking to understand the underlying reasons for such behaviour. The adolescent stage is a very delicate period characterized by developmental and emotional challenges. Many students exhibit behavioural problems as reactions to psychological or emotional stress. For example, a girl experiencing menstruation for the first time may feel uncomfortable in class; a child who performs household chores late at night may sleep during lessons; and a student who engages in street hawking to support the family may have limited time to study.
These challenges can significantly affect students’ behaviour and performance, and teachers must handle such situations with care and understanding.
One of the key qualities of a good teacher is the ability to understand students and the challenges they face. Teachers should handle students individually and apply appropriate techniques in managing behaviour. Effective behaviour management should not rely solely on insults or corporal punishment. Teachers are encouraged to learn and apply behaviour modification techniques to achieve positive and lasting results.
It is time teachers consciously speak positively about their students. Positive words encourage, motivate, and inspire learners to work hard and succeed in life. Teachers’ words have power; when used wisely, they can transform students’ lives and contribute significantly to their academic success and overall development.

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Marriage and the Wisdom of Compromise

Marriage is not a game for the wise, nor is it an institution for those who always insist on being right. The saying that "two wise men cannot walk together" finds some relevance in marriage. There comes a point when a husband or wife must choose to overlook certain things, remain silent on some matters, or even appear foolish in order to preserve peace and harmony in the home.

Anyone who is unwilling to make such sacrifices or compromises may find it difficult to enjoy lasting peace in marriage, and separation or divorce may eventually become the outcome. Many marriages have ended painfully because partners were unwilling to sacrifice, forgive, or accommodate one another's shortcomings.

Many of the rights and freedoms we enjoy as individuals begin to change the day we decide to tie the knot. As a single man or woman, there are certain choices that can be made without consultation or consideration of another person. Marriage, however, requires mutual respect, understanding, and, at times, the surrender of personal preferences for the sake of the relationship.

Therefore, if one desires to maintain complete independence, always have the final say, or insist on exercising every personal right without compromise, remaining single may be the better option. Marriage thrives not on winning arguments but on patience, understanding, forgiveness, and the willingness to sacrifice personal pride for the good of the relationship.

Also, true marital success is not measured by who is right or wrong, but by the ability of two imperfect people to live together in love, respect, and harmony despite their differences. In many situations, peace is preserved not by proving a point but by choosing understanding over pride and reconciliation over conflict.

The Tricycle Driver
By
Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA)
4 February 2026

You call me a tricycle driver—
That is not the name given at birth,
Yet I answer with humility
And serve you with dignity.
For I carry a dream of prosperity,
And a deep love for serving humanity.
I drive you safely to your destination,
To your desired places without fear,
Whether far or near.
I bear heavy loads upon my frame,
Burdens a thousand heads could not sustain.
Yet you choose to pay me any amount you wish,
And sometimes deny me my daily sales,
Forgetting that I have
Mouths to feed,
Bodies to clothe,
Roofs to raise over weary heads,
And my own health to preserve.
I have a machine to repair,
Fuel to replace,
And debts to repay,
So I may rise again the next day.
Though my dream of a brighter future is clear,
You choose to dim its light,
Leading me toward a seeming downfall.
You return with curses like falling rain,
Calling me a failure,
Forgetting you are the very contributor.
You abandon me for others,
Leaving me behind to face my fate.
There might come a day
When daily sales fall silent,
And the tricycle driver
Sleeps with an empty stomach.
There may come a time when accidents arrive uninvited,
And the choice stands between life and death.
Or disabilities may follow,
Leading to untimely retirement—
The quiet end of once-useful strength.
But nature does not discriminate,
And destiny never procrastinates.
So rising again is always possible—
Even to greater heights
You never thought attainable.

© 2026 Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA).
All rights reserved.

WITHOUT YOU
By
Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA)
27/04/2026

You pass in and out of our lives each day,
Yet never choose a place to dwell.
Our doors stand open,
Yearning for your tenderness and warmth,
But you settle only where it pleases you.
We dream each night,
Labour each day,
Hoping without ceasing
That you might bless our homes
With laughter and light.
Instead, you leave us
With grief and sorrow.
In your absence, marriages collapse;
Without you, friendships fade away.
At your withdrawal, families shatter,
And when you are not there,
Love grows dim and sometimes disappears.
Many call you a blessing;
Others say you are the root of all evil.
Whatever you may be,
We still need you in our lives,
Because without you,
This life is fruitless,
And humanity is empty.

© 2026 Counsellor Illomah Abudu (CIA).
All rights reserved.