Bvm intimacy

A woman is more than the roles she carries.

More than what people call her.

More than what she does for others.

More than the titles she has collected along the way.

She may be a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, businesswoman, leader, caregiver, or the one everyone depends on.

But underneath all those roles is still a woman..with a mind, a gift, a voice, a dream, a future, and a life that matters too.

Sometimes, in the process of being everything to everyone, a woman can slowly lose touch with herself.

So maybe the real question is not

What roles do you carry?

Maybe it is

Do you still know the woman carrying them?

Don't lose yourself while trying to be there for everyone else.

You matter too. ❤️

BEFORE YOU BLAME YOUR SPOUSE

Ada came home from work one evening and met her husband, Chike, sitting quietly in the living room, pressing his phone.

He looked up and said, “Welcome, dear.”

Ada replied coldly, “You don’t even care about me anymore.”

Chike looked surprised.

“What did I do?”

“Nothing. You never do anything! You are always on your phone.

You don’t notice me anymore.”

An argument started.

Chike became defensive.

Ada became more emotional.

Before long, they were no longer discussing the phone.

They were bringing up things that happened three years ago.

Later that night, Ada sat alone and asked herself:
“What am I really angry about?”
She thought deeply.

Was it actually the phone.

She had been exhausted from work.

She had been feeling overwhelmed with the children, the house and business.

She had wanted her husband to notice that she needed support.

She wasn't simply angry.

She was tired. She felt unseen. She needed attention and reassurance.

The next morning, instead of saying, “You don't care about me,” she told her husband:

“Yesterday, I reacted badly.

I think I was overwhelmed.

I wasn't really angry about your phone. I was feeling lonely and needed your attention.”

Chike listened.

And this time, there was no fight.

He simply reached for her hand and said,
“Then tell me when you need me.

I don't always know what is happening inside you.”

That conversation changed something in their marriage.

Sometimes, before blaming your spouse, pause and ask yourself:

What am I really feeling?

What triggered me?

What do I actually need?

Am I angry with my spouse, or am I carrying stress, disappointment, fear or exhaustion into this conversation?

Marriage becomes healthier when we learn to say

This is what I feel instead of This is what you always do.

Understanding your own emotions doesn't mean your spouse is always right.

It means you are willing to understand yourself before demanding that your spouse understand you.

“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” —
James 1:19

Sometimes, the argument isn't really about what happened.

It is about what happened inside you after it happened. ❤️🏡

You came in and meet your child like this...

What will you do 😂🤷

Happy new week
Happy Monday

May this week yield it's increase in our homes in Jesus name Amen

You don't owe anyone any explanation
Regina Daniels
You took the best decision and followed the right part
You earn our respect who understands what you went through.

Be free

WHY I WENT BACK TO MY HUSBAND PART 3

“Sometimes, going back is not weakness.”

After everything that happened, people kept asking me one question:

“Why did you go back to your husband?”

Honestly, I didn’t have an answer at first.

I had spent so much time convincing myself that leaving was the right thing to do. I wanted freedom. I wanted to prove that I could stand on my own. I wanted everyone to believe that I was strong.

But when the noise died down and I was alone with my thoughts, I began to ask myself a different question:

“Am I truly happier without him?”

And that question broke me.

I remembered the good times.

The way he supported me when nobody believed in me.
The way we laughed over the smallest things.
The way he cared for our children.
The little things I once complained about but suddenly started missing.

Then I realized something.

I wasn’t perfect either.

I had made mistakes. He had made mistakes. We both said things we didn’t mean. We both allowed anger and pride to speak louder than love.

But sometimes, separation gives you the clarity that being together doesn’t.

And then I looked at my children.

I couldn’t make a decision based only on my anger anymore.

They deserved a peaceful and loving home. They deserved to see their parents communicate, forgive and grow.

That was when I started thinking differently.

I wasn’t going back because people told me to.

I was going back because I had finally understood what I wanted.

I called him.

There was silence on the phone for a few seconds.

Then I said:

“I don’t know if we can fix everything but I’m willing to try.”

He didn’t argue.

He simply said:

“Come home.”

Those two words brought tears to my eyes.

Because sometimes, after all the fighting, all you really want is somewhere you can call home again.

I know people will judge me.

Some will say, “She wasn’t strong enough.”

Others will say, “She should never have left in the first place.”

But they don’t know what happened behind closed doors.

They don’t know the conversations we had.

They don’t know the tears we cried.

And they definitely don’t know what it took for two people to decide to try again.

Going back doesn’t always mean you lost.

Sometimes it means you finally found the courage to admit that you still love someone.

And yes.

I went back to my husband.

Not because I was forced.

Not because I had no other option.

But because after everything, I realized I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life running away from someone I still loved.

😂 When your wife and your mother cook two different meals… and both are standing there waiting for your answer

A or B?

Choose wisely, because your life depends on it! 🤣🤣

What's your answer 🤣🤣🤣
Let's hear in the comment section 👇👇👇 😜😜😜

Good evening, amazing family. 🌸❤️

How have you all been? 🤔

HOW DO YOU HEAL IN MARRIAGE AFTER SEVERAL DISAPPOINTMENTS?

What happens when the person you love has disappointed you repeatedly?

How do you love again when your heart has been hurt more than once?

How do you trust again when promises have been broken?

How do you communicate when every conversation seems to remind you of something painful?

The truth is, healing after repeated disappointment is not an overnight process.

Sometimes, healing is like peeling an onion. 🧅

You remove one layer, then another, and gradually you get to the deeper layers.

Marriage can be the same🤔😛.

You may resolve one issue today, only to discover that there are deeper emotions underneath,..hurt, resentment, disappointment, fear, insecurity, or loss of trust.

Don't expect everything to be fixed in one conversation.

You heal one layer at a time.

First, acknowledge the pain.

Stop pretending that everything is fine when it isn't.

You cannot properly heal what you refuse to acknowledge.

Second, learn to communicate the hurt without constantly attacking your spouse.

There is a difference between saying, You always hurt me; you never change, and saying, “
What happened really hurt me, and I need us to understand why this keeps happening...or you are the witch behind what's happening.

Third, allow yourself to grieve what you expected the marriage to be.

Sometimes, you are not only grieving what happened; you are grieving the marriage you imagined you would have.

Fourth, rebuild trust through consistent actions, not repeated promises.

When trust has been damaged, saying Trust me may not be enough.

Trust needs evidence.

Small consistent actions.

Honesty.
Transparency.

Accountability.

Keeping your word.
And patience.

Fifth, learn to forgive without pretending the hurt never happened.

Forgiveness does not mean you approve of what happened.

It does not mean you must immediately forget.

Forgiveness does not remove the need for boundaries or accountability.

It means you are choosing not to allow the offence to permanently control your heart.

Sixth, both spouses must be willing to participate in the healing.

One person cannot rebuild a broken bridge alone.

If one spouse keeps hurting and the other keeps repairing, eventually exhaustion sets in.

Healing requires responsibility from the person who caused the wound and willingness from the person who was hurt to work toward restoration, where restoration is safe and appropriate.

And finally, give healing time.

Some wounds took years to create.

Don't expect them to disappear in a weekend.

There may be good days and difficult days.

There may be moments when you think you are completely healed, and then something happens that reminds you of the old pain.

Don't panic.

It may simply mean there is another layer that needs attention.

But please remember healing does not mean tolerating abuse

Where there is violence, coercion, serious threats, or ongoing abuser safety must come first and appropriate professional or support services should be sought.

Dear couples, marriage will have disappointments💯👌.

No human being is perfect.

But repeated disappointment should not become a permanent lifestyle.

If you have hurt your spouse, take responsibility.

If you have been hurt, don't suffer silently.
Talk.
Listen.
Seek wise counsel.

Get professional help when necessary.

Pray.
Learn.
Adjust.

And most importantly, do the work.

Because sometimes the goal is not to return to the marriage you had before the disappointment.

Sometimes the goal is to build a wiser, healthier, more honest marriage than the one you had before. ❤️

One layer at a time.
One conversation at a time.
One apology at a time.
One changed behaviour at a time.

One day at a time.
Healing is possible when two people are genuinely willing to do the work.

WHEN CONSIDERING IF HE IS FINANCIALLY STABLE, ALSO CONSIDER IF HE IS MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY STABLE.

When choosing a life partner, many people ask

Does he have money?

Does he have a good job?

Can he provide?

These questions are important, but they are not the only questions worth asking.

A man can be financially successful and still be emotionally immature.

He can have a beautiful house but create an unsafe atmosphere inside it.

He can provide money but be unable to communicate.

He can build a successful business but destroy every relationship around him.

Financial stability can provide comfort, but emotional and mental stability contribute greatly to the quality of the home.

Pay attention to how he handles anger.

How does he respond when things don't go his way?

Can he apologize?

Can he accept correction?

Does he communicate when he is hurt, or does he punish people with silence?

Can he manage stress without taking it out on others?

Does he respect boundaries?

How does he treat people who cannot benefit him?

How does he handle disappointment?

How does he respond to conflict?

These things matter.

Likewise, women should examine themselves too.

Marriage is not only about finding a financially and emotionally stable man; both people need to develop the maturity required to build a healthy home.

Don't be so impressed by someone's income that you overlook their character.

Don't confuse wealth with wisdom.

Don't mistake confidence for emotional maturity.

Money can pay bills, but it cannot apologize for you.

Money can build a house, but it cannot create peace inside it.

Money can provide comfort, but it cannot replace communication, respect, self-control, empathy, and love.

So when considering a future spouse, don't only ask

“Can he afford marriage?”

Also ask

“Does he have the character, emotional maturity, and self-awareness to build one?”

Because you are not choosing someone to share a bank account with.

You are choosing someone to share a life with. ❤️🏡

𝗜𝗧𝗦 𝗔 𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗗 𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗨𝗦🌹💯👍✍️

Today is a special day that comes once every year.

It’s the 29th of August

And today, we celebrate 22 years on the journey of marriage.😁🌹 🥰

Looking back, all I can say is

it has not been by strength, wisdom, or perfection, but by the mercies of God💯👌✍️.

The journey of marriage comes with beautiful moments, difficult seasons, lessons, sacrifices, forgiveness, growth, laughter, tears, and 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗚𝗼𝗱.

𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹, 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗸𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝘂𝘀.

The Bible says
𝗦𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗵, 𝗻𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗲𝘁𝗵, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 God that sheweth mercy.
— Romans 9:16

And also

It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
— Lamentations 3:22–23

𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗱, 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲.

There are seasons when love must be intentional, patience must be exercised, forgiveness must be given, prayers must be prayed, and grace must carry us.

For 22 years, the mercies of God have been 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗰𝗲

𝗪𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 perfection😜😁👍💯✍️👌.

We are here by mercy. 🙏❤️

Today, I return all the glory to God, who has been faithful through every season..both the 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱😊, 𝗯𝗮𝗱😜 and 𝘂𝗴𝗹𝘆🤣 of our journey.

Happy 22nd Wedding Anniversary to us 💍❤️🥂

Please, join me to celebrate the faithfulness and mercies of God in our marriage journey. 🎉🎉🎉

BEYOND THE RING 💍❤️

The ring is beautiful.

It announces to the world that you are married.

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴.

Beyond the ring is 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀, 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁.

Beyond the ring is sacrifice.

Beyond the ring is forgiveness.

𝗕𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

Beyond the ring is choosing kindness even when you are angry.

Beyond the ring is waking up every day and deciding, I will keep building this home with you.

Many people prepare for the wedding and the ring, but the real work begins after the ceremony.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗵𝘂𝘀𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝗳𝗲.

It takes 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲.

It takes 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆.

It takes 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.

It takes 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽.

It takes 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.

And sometimes, it takes 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀, 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝗮𝗱𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀, and the 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 to say, 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴.

A wedding may last for one day, but marriage is lived every single day.

So don't only admire the ring.

𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.

𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲, 𝗮 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁, 𝗮 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀.

Dear couples, what have you discovered about marriage that nobody told you before you wore the ring? 😁❤️

Respect should be reciprocal between a spouse and their in-laws. ❤️

A daughter-in-law or son-in-law should show respect to their spouse's parents, but respect should also flow in the other direction.

Respect is not
An in-law constantly insulting a spouse.

Comparing them with another person.

Interfering unnecessarily in their marriage.

Disrespecting them because they are the outsider.

Expecting honour while giving humiliation.

Likewise, a spouse should not insult, mock, or deliberately disregard their in-laws simply because they are now married.

Marriage joins families, but it should not create a hierarchy where one person must constantly tolerate disrespect because of age or family position.

A mother-in-law should respect the man or woman her child has chosen.

A son-in-law or daughter-in-law should respect the parents who raised their spouse.

And the husband or wife should be mature enough to create healthy boundaries when necessary.

Respect should not be one-sided.

The Bible says, “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” — Romans 12:10

So yes, honour your in-laws..but healthy family relationships flourish best when respect travels in both directions. ❤️🏡