SoftnBlack
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Curating and cultivating a space where black women can feel safe being authentic in their femininity and live a soft life.
Black women have controlling issues..
But it's not because we want or desire control. I believe it's a trauma response to surviving in this country. It's the fear of letting your guard down for a second and everything falling apart.
We always feel the need to fix it, make it right, get the answer or the result. And where it does project and affect others.. it's never intentional.
Stop ✋🏽 comparing a soft life to a privileged life. It's a difference.
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You have dominion over your life!
Hence the reason we have choices and free will. Admitting that you didn't make the best choice in the person you chose doesn't mean you never make the right choice.
Everytime we take accountability for our actions, decisions, and choices we're freeing ourselves from being stuck and stagnant. It prevents us from being right back in the same situation or position we were in before.
06/19/2026
I saw this picture of Kendrick Lamar (on the left) when he was younger celebrating his birthday and it immediately made me think of the picture of me when I was around.. I think 2 or 3 celebrating my birthday.
I don't know who those kids are celebratingwith me 😩😆. If I can remember I think that was a picture of me at my dad's house in Florida and he just invited some neighborhood kids in the apartment complex to come celebrate with me. 🤷🏾♀️ I don't think I cared one way or the other.
Who has a picture like this when they were younger?
06/17/2026
So I've been having this debate since those morning about how a blk woman who doesn't work and stays home still adds value and worth to her household.
Now, I don't necessarily disagree with LeBron because I do believe his comment was taken out of context. I can't imagine him taking issue with women who stay home when him and Savannah have been together since high school and I'm sure she wasn't working while he was in the NBA.
He might have implied that he wouldn't be interested with a woman who doesn't want to do anything but sit on the couch and that's understandable. I don't necessarily believe he was saying all women who stay home do is sit on the couch all day.
However to much of my surprise their were blk women in the comments justifying the notion that women who stay home aren't adding or contributing to the household unless they have children.
As a woman who does stay home and has for majority of my marriage and relationship, this thought process that other blk women have about blk women who don't work isn't unfamiliar. It's actually rather common in my experience.
However, it's unfortunate because while we as blk women preach and advocate about a soft life. Or we advocate about no longer being in survival mode.. we're the same women who will equate a woman's worth and value based on working, how hard she works, how much she's accomplished, how much she does. All the things that keep us in survival mode.. equating our worth to what we do, how much we have, how much we do, how far we're will stretch ourselves to do.
Our value as women isn't based on the quantity of life we survive but the quality of life that we live. And a quality life isn't about proving, pushing and performing. It's about knowing your worth and not equating it to validate others. You're valuable and worthy before you prove anything.
Who told us that being wrong meant we can never be right? Who told us that holding ourselves accountable meant that we could never hold others accountable?
We say we're flawed but never truly accept our flaws because we struggle with being wrong and being held accountable.
Is there a such thing as a Trophy Husband???
Most of us heard of the term "Trophy Wife" but is it possible for women to be in a relationship with man for the purpose of him being a Trophy by her side?
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An ambitious man doesn't mean a wealthy man in the sense of value, morality, character, or stability.
And an ambitious man doesn't only equate to how much money a man has. What is his ambition rooted in? Is it rooted in greed? Attention? Power?
Becareful what you seek out in potential partners because it doesn't always measure up.
I maybe wrong but...
I'm authentic and I'd rather be authentic and wrong than inauthentic and right, if being right means I never get to experience what it feels like to myself, freely...
No Aplogies.
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Black women are innately feminine...
I already know this will ruffle feathers because my last post where I spoke on yt women being groomed to find a husband from a young age got them upset on Facebook. 😬
Typically when you get them upset.. it means you've stepped on toes.
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