Coloring Beauty

J.P. CHAN, filmmaker

"I was born in suburban New Jersey to a Taiwanese mom and a dad from China (via Vietnam). When I was growing up, my town was mostly second and third generation Italian and Irish. There were very few people of color (less than 2% when I graduated high school) and virtually all my friends were white. The town as a whole was pretty welcoming and I don't remember much overt racism. But the were plenty of situations here and there that were uncomfortable, especially to a naive kid like myself.

One day in our elementary school art class, there was a lesson where we made silhouettes of ourselves. The teacher put them all in a pile and then held them up one-by-one and asked the students to guess who they represented. As the only Asian in class, everyone figured mine out immediately! Thinking about it now, I laugh pretty hard but at the time I was super-embarrassed.

Until I had my first girlfriend in high school (a white girl, not surprisingly), I definitely had anxiety and doubts about whether I was attractive because barely anyone in town looked like me or my family. Then I arrived at NYU for college and realized that what I found beautiful had expanded by a hundredfold, because the school and the city were so much more diverse than what I grew up with. The fantastic people watching is one of the reasons I still love living here. You see so many different and interesting faces every day. It's all the beauty of humanity, within easy walking distance."

JP's debut feature film A PICTURE OF YOU is available on iTunes, Amazon, and VHX http://www.apoyfilm.com . Check it out!!

Hey all! It's been a while since I've last posted on here. I spent this past semester abroad and working on some projects, thus not giving the much needed time on here. I do apologize for this, but many things have happened the past months that required ample time away from social media.

One of the projects, that stalled further work on Coloring Beauty has been for a production company called Asian American Film Lab. This company has a annual 72 hr Shootout, where contestants are given a theme and then are required film, write and create a movie in 72 hours. This year's theme is on looking deeper and seeing something that is more than just the aesthetics. As you can imagine, I was thrilled and have been actively part of it since. There is still time to register as a participant and I will definitely be involving Coloring Beauty in this as well! Stay tune for more info!! :)

This post is looking at being a women in two highly rigorous fields and finding a connection and understanding between the two. I did a separate for this as I knew Rachel beforehand and found her background interesting. It's a longer post as there was a lot to say so check out the photos! Note, I did do some editing on the photos, as in putting some filter and bringing some more color; however, there is absolutely NO alteration on her actually physique. I'm just trying something different so do please tell me how you all like it! :)

Hey all!

I know it's been a while since I have been on my page. Due to some unfortunate events that have happened, I needed some time away from this project. After some weeks of reflection and peace, I will like to say that Coloring Beauty is STILL an on going project. The next piece however, will be branching off a bit from the usual and will be looking at being a minority in a highly driven environment. I don't want to say too much and spoil the details, nonetheless, look out for it coming up this week! In addition, Coloring Beauty will be in LONDON for the next few months, so if you all have friends in the London area, please do give them my contact! I would love to use as many different people as possible! Anyways, thank you all for your patience and understanding and look forward to continuing on!!

Erica Rawles (Claremont McKenna '17)

Race/Ethnicity: Black (French Creole)

"I think the biggest pressure coming from society today is to conform to a certain weight or body type, but it’s a ridiculous that there is even a standard to adhere to when we were all born different. I once read a quotation that said, "The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I feel it's not beautiful? And very shortly you discover there is no reason” (John Cage). You start to realize that there are beautiful things about every person, whether in their appearance or not, and those things are different in everyone. It’s important to remember not to be so hard on ourselves and on each other, not to pass judgement.

I remember being a kid and no one in elementary school saw black or white, the texture of your hair or the color of your eyes. Somewhere around 5th grade I think was the first time someone asked me why my eyes were green and I did not know what to tell them, it had never occurred to me that they shouldn’t be. It was like asking someone else why their eyes were blue or brown. A lot of people want to know “what” I am, but I don’t see why it’s necessary to categorize people, to put them in a box. If I say I am black, it is usually not a satisfactory answer and “but why is your skin so light” follows, or “but what are your parents?” And on some level I understand the curiosity, but why is that important? When we were kids, no one saw the contrast between skin and eyes or dark and light, and I think one reason is that we were not yet influenced by society’s construct of normality or race.

In general, I think we need to start putting less emphasis on outward appearance. Beauty goes way beyond the way you look, it’s the way you act, the way you treat others, your smile, your kindness, your thoughtfulness, your talent... the way you are when you are passionate about something, the ability of your presence to lift the energy of the people around you, your confidence."

Meghna Rajeev (University of Southern California '16)

Race/Ethnicity: Indian

“I grew up in Saudi Arabia, so most of the beauty standards revolved around similar ones to the Western world. Arabian girls are so beautiful; fair, dark hair, and light eyes. Absolutely gorgeous, but that also became the standard definition of being considered “pretty” or “attractive”. It was either that or someone “exotic”, which were usually girls from Europe or the US, especially anyone who’ was blonde with blue eyes, slim and that whole package. Back then, I felt as if being darker was not as well regarded and that there’d always be a preference for lighter skin. I remember there was this stunning new girl from the Dominican Republic who was kind of tan and so fit, a track runner with a beautiful smile and curly hair. She was so confident and I assumed everyone would go gaga for her. And then I heard some guys discussing her in class and one of them just straight-up said, “Yeah she’s cute, but she’s way too dark.” And another one adding in, “Yeah and her nose is too flat.” I was definitely a little taken-aback. The way I see it now, and back then too, is that you really don’t have to conform to one standard, like a button nose and tiny lips; personally when I find someone physically attractive, it’s if they have one (or more) really striking features, like a sharp nose, or piercing eyes, or a bright smile. It’s cool!

Did I conform to beauty standards? Not really, not with skin tone at least. It’s something I’m settled with. My mother is a very fair skinned person and my dad is a little darker, so I got more of his tone. And my mom would always reassure me that there was nothing wrong with that, and on the bright side, ‘darker skinned people have a lower chance of getting skin cancer ‘[laughs] just on the side! But there were still so many times I’d complain to her saying, “Damn it, I could have gotten your skin and Dad’s straight hair, life is unfair.” But that would also mean I’d be half-bald by 45 so I’m grateful for what I have. Haha. Another thing I noticed when I visited India was that my relatives’ first comments would always be “Ayyo you got darker!” ALWAYS. Not my weight or anything else. Or sometimes it would be a little more subtle, like “Has someone been playing a lot of soccer? You seem to have gotten a little burnt.” And my internal reaction was always “so what?” And people would suggest foundation brands and I was lowkey horrified. These comments started in 8th grade, and I think I started wearing makeup in, maybe, junior year of high school? (and that was only because I barely slept and didn’t want to go to school looking like a zombie).

USC has kids from almost everywhere and I don’t feel like there’s as much of a focus on being fair, skinny, and all the other constructs I mentioned before. Being confident, smiling a lot, being intelligent (this is a big one), being real, being a good person at heart- that’s so much more important. Especially being good-hearted. You can be flawless on the outside, but if you’re judgmental or rude, you set off weird vibes that just create unnecessary negativity and immediately decreases the initial impression of attractiveness you might’ve formed.

I think I’m a very open person. If something bothers me, I tell them, but if something makes me happy, I tell them too. I’m very blunt about what I like and dislike. Some people think of that as “sass” but it’s just me being candid. What I’ve grown to realize is that no matter how hard you try, not everyone will agree or accept the way you think or feel. And that’s perfectly okay."

Nia McAllister (Pomona College '17)

Race/Ethnicity: Black/Filipina/White

"Growing up, my parents taught me that beauty is not defined by the physical and material characteristics of individuals. Rather, we express beauty through our kindness and respect for each other. Our talents and passions are the features that magnify our natural beauty. As a dancer, I feel the most beautiful when I am in motion. That’s when I feel the happiest and the most confident. I think our differences are what make us beautiful. We can show this beauty by accepting and embracing that we aren’t all the same. The quirks and the imperfections we waste time complaining about are what set us apart from each other. We may not see it right away, but these details can actually be what others recognize as beauty.

I think theoretically it wouldn’t faze me if I didn’t conform to society’s standards, but it’s still really hard to always see the image of “perfection” that the media defines as the ideal. I like to say that I try to embrace the aspects of myself that deviate what society regards as the traits of the perfect individual. But at the same time, I’m definitely aware of society’s expectations. This slim, “perfectly” proportional person is what we’re supposed to conform to what and what we’re supposed to aspire to. But in reality, we are each so different, and if we keep trying to force ourselves to achieve that “perfection”, we’re just going to be unhappy. Maybe if I keep telling myself this, I can actually accept that I while I have qualities that society doesn’t define as “perfect”, those too can still be beautiful.

Over the past year in college, I’ve definitely become more in touch with my identity, heritage and this ethnic ambiguity I possess. Even though it’s really hard to be incorrectly labeled sometimes, I think the ambiguity is really beautiful. I love the fact that it’s kind of a mystery what I am. I’ve come to value my mixed heritage, the many textures of my hair and all the different aspects that make up my appearance, but the way I look is only one dimension of who I am. There is so much more to a person beyond their facade and how they physically present themselves. Once we learn to embrace imperfection as a quality we all share, we can start to look beyond the materialistic features we associate with beauty and appreciate the personalities, actions, and talents that make us all shine with a unique beauty."

Diva Gattani (Scripps College ‘17)

Race/Ethnicity: Italian/Indian

“I’m from New York City and I went to a predominantly white and Jewish school. It was a lot of fair skin, straight hair, brown usually or blonde. That was the norm. Actually I definitely tried to conform to the norm now that I look back. But I mean, when you’re 13, everyone wants to be the norm. But I knew from a young age I would never have light eyes or pale skin. My mom’s skin is really really pale and she always says she wishes that she had mine, which is funny because when I was a little kid I wanted her skin color.

I think your family definitely impacts your standards of beauty but when you’re biracial it’s complicated. You never completely fit in to either culture. Something about you will always be off. I have a brother who looks more Italian than I do. He has lighter eyes and lighter skin. It’s kind of interesting how sometimes I look at him and think, “why couldn’t I have been the one to have gotten those traits?”

Now I’m happy that I stand out. Biracial or not, I think everyone slowly learns to accept their identity. But I mean it’s definitely much easier when you’re not 13. Oh middle school. Well, at least it built character.

Leonida Radford (Scripps College '17)

Race/Ethnicity: Black/Filipina

"I feel like my hair definitely makes me beautiful which is interesting because it has always been something that I’ve struggled with since I was little. Growing up I was heavily influenced by the Filipino side of my family so inherited their ideals of beauty: fair skin, short, thin, and straight hair. These standards were forced on me as a child and I’m the complete opposite of that; I’m tall, I’m big, I have caramel skin, and I have curly hair. In order to feel beautiful, I would change how I looked. In high school, I would straighten my hair every single day just so I could feel “beautiful”. Whenever I went to a party everyone would say “Oh my god you’re so pretty!” but when I went to a party with my natural hair they would be like “why didn’t you straighten your hair? Why are you being lazy? Aren’t you trying to find a boyfriend?” It was very much like ‘my family doesn’t think I’m beautiful so how can anyone else think I’m beautiful’ type of feeling. My dad, on the other hand, always told me that because I am Black, I am beautiful; that my hair, stature, and most importantly my mind, made me beautiful. I have the very traditional ideals of being beautiful and then my dad came in and tried broke down those barriers. It was hard because it was one person telling me that I was beautiful, but my family members and the media telling me that I had to change myself.

First of all I hate that “I wish I had something like yours” because everyone strives for something that they don’t have. I always wanted straight hair, but I can never have straight hair; people who have straight hair always wanted curly hair. So we’re always just taught what is beautiful is something we don’t have. I hate today’s standard of beauty. I think it’s bu****it because I feel like it is based upon what we see in moves, with all these actresses who are thin, have flawless skin, and spend so much time on their appearance. It’s like the media is telling us that we are not beautiful unless we look like these actresses in any way, shape, or form. But then I talk to my other women of color and they say “you’re so pretty” and it was so hard for me to accept that. But then I thought “no, I am beautiful because I have my own standard of beauty”.

No matter what society tells me what beauty is or what beauty should be, I was always raised to believe that I have a beautiful soul and mind. Because of this, I try and walk around with a smile because even though people try and tell me that my physical features aren't beautiful, they can't say anything about my soul and personality"

Hi everyone! So due to a lot of work I had to do this summer, I couldn't really do to much for this page. However, now that school has started again, I would love for more people to participate! If there is anyone who would like to participate please message me and I would be more than happy to work with your schedule!

I can't believe there's 700+ likes on this page already! Thank you for spreading the word and please keep doing so!

As Summer break has started and the school semester is closing for many of us, I thought I would share some of my view points just to end a beautiful Spring semester with you all! So without further ado...

Namrata Mohan (Scripps College '16)

Race/Ethnicity: Indian

"Beauty standards arise from this constant and understanding feeling of acceptance. We want to belong. By the outer appearance we see of peers, of friends, of prominent people we make judgments in our mind that assess whether they fit into the norms of our society or so-called "belongingness". This instant judgement of whether someone is "beautiful" or "ugly" or "fat" or "too skinny" or "too dark" stems from these feelings of whether they were accepted in the light of your peers, family or even yourself.

Nevertheless, these beauty standards do not define me, but make me challenge them constantly. The alienation of never fitting into these norms I felt as a child, a teenager, even now as I feel as a young woman, is and has been very empowering. I took this negative feeling of distance and loneliness and turned it into positivity, into independence, into freedom of my own mind and choices. I have embraced my differences. I have embraced my whole being as a human, not some piece I should constantly critique.

I find there is something beautiful about everyone, even if I don't always work well with them or see it at first. Perhaps, that is why I created this project; so that this feeling I have for others can be seen through words, through photos and that we as a community can critique these standards that have blinded us from seeing something so beautiful, so lovely, so tangible right in front of our eyes."

Hey all! So many people have asked me whether or not Coloring Beauty will still be continuing and the answer is yes!! The posts maybe fewer during the Summer, but it still is a running photo project and if anyone is near the LA/SoCal region, please hit me up! I would love to use you as one of my participants in the project!! Thanks all for following my page; it means so much to not only to me, but everyone who has been involved!