Brow Church

*trigger warning - su***de*

Dear Church-goers

Some of you may have noticed I’m operating at less than my peak and I would like to apologise and explain.

What you don’t know is that my children’s father (we were separated and working our way through our settlement and divorce) took his own life at the end of January - two weeks after Brow Church moved.

It’s been a huge emotional rollercoaster. It’s shocking, it’s painful, I feel sorrow and anger and sadness, and question if this is truly my reality.

My children are my greatest priority and I have been doing my best to help them navigate their grief and emotions as well as my own.

Prior to this painful experience, I have been caring for my elderly parents. They’re both 84, my dad has motor neurones disease and my mum is struggling with the stress and uncertainty of being his full time carer. He was diagnosed in July 2025, most people die within 12 months of their diagnoses and this outcome is looking more likely as the days pass. I live with my parents and help them daily with all their needs adding to the pressure I have been under.

If I’ve seemed like I’m not quite with it, or haven’t delivered on my usual standards, this may give you some insight. I love giving my best and my everything to my work and I know in my heart, that I’ve been stretched so thinly that sometimes I don’t quite get to my normal standards.

I apologise if I’ve forgotten to get back to you, I’ve moved a booking or not been available when I normally am. Please know that I am sorry and am trying my best to keep my sh*t together.

I truly hope you never know feelings like this. I hope you’re never faced with my reality. It cuts deep over and over and I wonder how I can keep going, but I have to.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. I’m doing my best and I hope you can forgive my mistakes if I have made some. Life is not normal, it feels like it may never feel that way again but I’m showing up as best I can.

Carly
Brow Church.