Imperfectlyashley

some days the demons win. some days it’s like nothing’s wrong.

but most days right now.. is a battle.

i’ve been sharing bits about what’s actually been going on. not because i didn’t want to say it, but because i don’t know what it all is.

so here’s the truth: i’ve spent more time in the hospital this year than i ever have before. so many days stuck in flight mode, praying i’m not gonna completely fall apart again and end up in the er. i’ve also spent that same stretch of time being a mom, wiping someone’s tears, making sure everyone’s fed and clothes are clean, showing up to games with a smile that’s real some days, and some just getting through it.

you can be falling apart and still be a good mom. those two things live in the same body sometimes.

that’s the part nobody tells you.

if you’re raising a son…. what’s the one thing you hope they never have to unlearn?

working on myself.
because I didn’t ask for this but it’s my responsibility
to feel better and take care of me now.

Losing yourself doesn’t look like losing yourself. It looks like fine. It looks like busy. It looks like “I’m good, just tired.” That’s motherhood for most. Top that up with an invisible illness which hides in plain sight, so nobody knows to ask, and you don’t them to. You just keep going. Keep functioning or trying as best you can. Keep being fine.

If that’s you right now.. if you’re carrying something nobody can see and doing it anyway, I see you. So today I checked on myself. Day one.