Sh1tbag

Wow …. What a fu***ng journey so far … I’m not sure I actually realised his poorly I was … my stubbornness has got me many places … but this time if kind of got me in a hole … not ready to accept an illness that everybody could see but me… I’ve decided to make this page as the Sh1tbag ( Stanley ) kinda has his own personality … definitely doesn’t like chilli.. 😂 not really sure where to start … we all hear about blood in poo .. and that we should get it checked .. well .. I didn’t … my appetite went down .. but I was training hard living on pre work out and PEDS . There you have it .. if I’ve learnt anything from this it’s honest … honesty with yourself and others … we are bombarded with media images all day every day .. and to some extent we are all sucked in … and suddenly… BOOM 💥 … your whole world implodes … I have been in close contact now with many people some I am honoured to call friends … who have sat in front of people and sat open mouthed as they have been told those fu***ng s**tty words “ we are sorry to say but … you have Cancer “ f**k me I thought I was in fu***ng destructable ( I actually am by the way ) if you know this you know this …. I actually wanted Mother Earth to open up and just bury me deep … I thought I used to get f**ked up on drugs … ain’t nothing like thinking … f**k my actual time is up … head spinning .. heart racing .. sweating … you can’t think straight .. no focus … why me .. f**k what about this what about that … sorry starting to waffle … both physically and mentally I have been absofu***nglutely bent over and rogered … but ……. I’m 5 days out from finishing my first round of chemo …. And .. to be fair I have no intention of dying any day soon … thank F**k I’m Gen X … we get s**t done … we don’t f**k about … get up get it done …. I suppose really what I’m trying to say is … ffs get your self checked … that being said I did have a re**al examination at the GP surgery to be told …. No you’re fine no problem here …. So ..I’d you ain’t right and you know you ain’t right please please get your self checked out … if I can stop one person going down the same path I did I will be happy # #