Norah Finn Therapy

ABUSERS DON’T JUST GROOM THEIR VICTIMS; they can also groom the people around them — including those who would otherwise provide the victim with support.

By influencing how others perceive their target, they can isolate the victim, undermine their credibility, and destroy the very support network they need.

Be aware of this dark side of human behaviour. If someone goes out of their way to tell you how terrible another person is, pause and ask yourself: Why are they telling me this? What is their intention? Am I hearing the full story, or am I being manipulated into seeing someone through their eyes?

Listen if you choose too, but also ask yourself why you wouldn’t stand up for someone who isn’t present to put across their own view of the situation? Think critically. Look for facts rather than accepting allegations as truth. Be careful not to become part of an abusers plan to isolate or discredit another person.

Sometimes, the person being portrayed as the problem is not the person causing the harm.

Don’t allow someone else’s narrative to replace your own critical thinking. You’re well capable of doing your own thinking. 💜

ADDICTION IS PROGRESSIVE, SO IS RECOVERY.

In addiction, life slowly narrows.
You lose trust.
You lose time.
You lose stability.
You lose self-respect.
You lose health.
You lose relationships.
You lose YOU.
You lose choice, piece by piece, until you have nothing left.

In recovery, life slowly opens back up.
You gain clarity.
You gain stability.
You gain trust, first in yourself, then in others.
You gain time that’s yours.
You gain self-respect through action, not intention.
You restore health.
You rebuild relationships.
You re-claim YOU.
You gain choice again.

Addiction takes everything you have that is good, piece by piece.

Recovery gives it back the same way.

Not all at once. But enough day by day to build a different life. A life you can be proud of.

Recovery is progressive. Keep with it. It gets easier and easier, until one day, you wouldn’t go back to a life of addiction for anything. That day does come.

A day at a time. Stick with it, you’re worth a good life. You deserve a life free of the misery of addiction. 🌻

PSYCHOTHERAPY AND THE FREEDOM TO BE YOURSELF 💜
If we override our need to live authentically in order to fit in with those around us, we can find ourselves constantly frustrated, disconnected from ourselves, and struggling to understand why we are unhappy.

Psychotherapy provides a psychologically safe space to explore these feelings, question the beliefs we have learned, and understand the choices we make to gain acceptance or avoid rejection.

Sometimes, we have spent so much of our lives trying to please others that we lose sight of who we really are, what we want, and what matters to us.

Your psychotherapist will not tell you who to be or how to live your life. They will support you in developing greater self-awareness, understanding your needs, and discovering what is preventing you from living authentically. You never have to abandon yourself to belong.

The therapeutic relationship itself matters. You need to feel psychologically safe to express your thoughts, question your beliefs, disagree, and be yourself without fear or judgement.

The goal is not to become the person others want you to be. It is to develop the awareness and confidence to live a life that reflects who you are.

Psychotherapy is not about fitting you into someone else’s expectations. It ‘s about supporting you in understanding yourself and finding the freedom to allow you to critically think.

Therapy works …… we all breathe a little easier with the right support. 💜

COERCIVE CONTROL creates invisible chains and a sense of fear that pervades all elements of a survivor’s life. It works to limit their victims human rights by depriving them of their liberty and reducing their ability for action.

Coercive control erodes the victim’s sense of self, their confidence and self-esteem, agency and autonomy.

The abuser creates an unreal world of contradiction, confusion and fear. Victims do not even know that they are being abused, manipulated and controlled.

This dangerous form of abuse relies on a range of behaviours or actions that can be very subtle and nuanced. The intention is to exploit and dominate and to ultimately deprive the victim of their most basic rights and needs. It is psychological hostage taking and will keep another under an enforced regime.

Many people feel shame when they eventually learn more about this relational dynamic. They can feel “I must be stupid”, “how did I let that person do that to me”, “why did I not stop it”, etc. Please, don’t do that to yourself. You were never stupid, you were conned. And, it is not your fault. The fault lies in the hands of the person who abused you. Coercive control is a crime.

Put the shame back where it belongs. In the abusers hands. Of course you didn’t see that coming. Those who coercively control others are skilled in keeping their behaviors covert. They are skilled in creating an environment where you feel “am I going crazy”.

The secret to breaking this spell is talking it out loud. Something amazing happens when we hear ourselves speak our own story out loud. Seek professional support. Educate yourself. Know that you are not alone. Refuse to carry shame for another’s abusive behaviour. 💜

You made me a Ma Stephen, you made me a Mother-in-Law, you made me a Nana, - but most of all son, you make me a very proud Mother, every single day. What a privilege it is to be the Mother of a good man! Happy, happy birthday son. I love you with every cell of my being. My first born. You’re a Da now, you get it. I wish I could be with you all as you mark your special day. My heart is with you and I’ll see you soon. Have the best day ever son. You richly deserve to be celebrated. I love you very very much, and then some more, all my love, Ma # # #

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, WATCH AND SHARE THIS.
THIS IS A PUBLIC SAFETY ISSUE. 💜
I’ve been contacting those who produced the documentary since its release in July asking them not to ask those who pay to rent the documentary to keep a “plot twist”?? Sam Vaknins name needs to be out there and in the public asap. This is not entertainment. It’s a safeguarding issue. He is still actively working with people, despite evidence of what he’s doing and having no governing bodies, no appropriate training, no letter of confirmation for any of the qualifications he professes to have, and being a diagnosed narcissist/psychopath. I’ve contacted those featured in the doc, professionals who are mandated to report and safeguard, I’ve contacted professionals and organisations who platform and promote this person - my concerns have never being acknowledged. Nor have anyone else’s that have done the same.

Isla Traquair - being the professional that she is, got back to me immediately. We connected straight away. She understood the urgency that was required to expose this person. She is an amazing investigative journalist full of warmth and care. Professional, ethical, full of compassion, and, so so smart. She has years and years of experience catching these perpetrators. Her documentary is outstanding. This is Isla’s podcast. She does not have a team. She is exposing this alone. She is such a support to the brave women who have spoken publicly about this perpetrator. As Isla says, “they are my hero’s” and they are mine too. And Isla, so are you. Isla has done the professional and ethical thing - I’m asking us all to do the same.

Isla, thank you so much for all you have done and for all you continue to do. It cannot be easy dealing with all this alone. But please know this, “no matter how lonely you may feel at times, you are never alone”. There are an army of people who absolutely believe in you and your work. I am one of them, and so are my colleagues and friends. Keep going Isla, you’ll get the justice that these incredibly brave women deserve. 💜💜

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE SEEKING SUPPORT FOR YOUR MENTAL WELLBEING 💜
We can get lost in terminology, titles, and qualifications when looking for mental health support. It can all become very confusing.
It is the responsibility of mental health professionals to clearly explain the services they provide, the limits of their expertise, and when a referral to another professional or service may be necessary.

You deserve to understand the support being offered to you and to make informed choices about your care. Anyone working in the field of mental health has a responsibility to create an environment of psychological safety, where you feel respected, heard, and cared for, and where trust can develop.

Remember, we are here to support you. You are entitled to feel safe, respected, and comfortable in that professional relationship.
Never be afraid to ask questions or voice your concerns. If you do not feel comfortable, you have every right to walk away and seek support elsewhere. You do not have to remain in any professional relationship that leaves you feeling unsafe or unheard.

Your psychological safety matters. You deserve to know who is supporting you, what they are qualified to offer, and when they need to refer you to someone else.

I hope this helps if you’re looking for support for your mental health. 💜

WHERE THERE IS NO SELF-AWARENESS, or ability to reflect on one’s own failings, there can be no true personal responsibility. Without responsibility, harmful behaviors are bound to be repeated.

When someone is aware of their behaviour, but still refuses to take responsibility, that persons refusal to accept responsibility means that they intend to repeat the behavior.

A mistake made with awareness is not a mistake, it’s a choice.

Be cautious with people who avoid personal responsibility and accountability. A relationship cannot grow, heal, be equal, shared, or saved, when one person refuses to own their behaviour.

Lack of personal responsibility and accountability are indicators of a relationship that will be grounded in passive aggression and coercive control.

The first indicator of mental illness, is someone who cannot take responsibility and accountability. Where that is absent, we may be dealing with an undiagnosed mental illness.

Mentally healthy people do not behave with a lack of self responsibility in this world. Being able to take responsibility and accountability for the impact your behavior has on others, is an indicator of your mental health. 💜

WE ALL HAVE A STORY. To be trusted with another’s story is a responsibility and privilege that after nearly 30 years of practice, still touches me very deeply. To share in another’s story, truth, experiences, while holding the wellbeing of all concerned, is not to be taken lightly.

There is nothing more painful than holding an untold story within us. It’s always easier when we talk things out. We share our story and hear ourself speak our own story out loud. That takes real bravery. There is something so empowering in that process. Talking genuinely helps - but talk therapy is much more than just talking.

Therapy offers a psychologically safe, supportive space to explore your feelings, thoughts, understand your emotions, and develop practical tools to navigate life’s challenges. To explore our patterns we have developed since childhood. To take responsibility and ownership for the life we have today. And to find a way to live with peace and contentment in our relationships, most importantly, the relationship we have with ourself.

Whether you’re managing stress, anxiety, relationship difficulties, grief, traumatic events, or simply looking to know yourself better, therapy can help you move forward with greater clarity and confidence.

You don’t have to wait for a crisis to invest in your mental well-being. Every conversation is a step toward growth and self awareness.

Your story matters. Your mental health matters. YOU matter. Make therapy a part of your self care support system. I do. When attending therapy, make sure you ask your therapist what they do for their wellbeing. If it doesn’t include the very thing they’re encouraging you to do, perhaps find another therapist.

Therapy is an ongoing journey of returning home to ourself. Of removing the limits and conditions that were placed on us. It’s a process. A slow and steady acknowledgment, understanding, and acceptance of self. 💜

- one to one, couples, group, (all areas covered), clinical supervision (all areas covered), Glasserian Training to Certification level, CPD Training, Personal and Professional Training Workshops.

HOW YOU ENCOURAGE OTHERS SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOUR MENTAL WELLNESS 💜
Are you someone who encourages others?
Do you clap loudly when others win?
Do you genuinely cheer others on?
Is encouragement part of your daily habits?

The way we celebrate others says a lot about our emotional and psychological wellbeing.
Healthy self-esteem allows us to celebrate another person’s success without feeling threatened by it. We don’t need to compete, compare, or diminish someone else’s achievements to feel good about ourselves.

There is room for everyone to shine. When we feel secure within ourselves, another person’s success doesn’t take anything away from us. Encouraging others is a connecting habit that helps us build and maintain healthy relationships. It costs nothing to encourage someone, yet the impact can be significant.

So, here’s something to think about today:
How could you bring this connecting habit into your life today?
Could you offer someone a genuine compliment? Acknowledge another person’s efforts? Celebrate a colleague’s success?
Or simply let someone know that you believe in them?

Be the person who encourages.
Be the person who celebrates.
Be the person who lifts others up.

We don’t have to dim someone else’s light to let our own shine, in fact, we all brighter when we shine together. 💜