Lilian koikoi

Dating a married man/woman is not a “complicated situation.” Let’s call it what it is—it’s sin. If he/she is married, then he/she is married. Period.

Separated for over two years? Still married. His spouse can’t conceive? Still married. Their marital s*x life is awful? Still married. His spouse has been diagnosed with a terminal illness? That is heartbreaking, but it is not an excuse—he is still married. He feels like he married the wrong person? He is still married until both of them legally and intentionally decide otherwise.

His spouse lives in another country? Distance does not dissolve vows. They’re having a rough time at home? That does not make you the solution. You are not an escape plan. Married is married.

You do not discover your worth in someone else’s husband. Your value is not validated by secret conversations, hidden dates, or borrowed affection. Your worth comes from within—and from God. Choose a man who is truly single. Choose a man who is free to love you openly. Choose a man who is worthy of you and committed to building a life with you the right way.

Being separated is not the same as being divorced. Paperwork matters. Covenant matters. Integrity matters.

What you sow into another home will visit your own one day. You may not reap where you sow, and you may not reap when you sow—but you will reap what you sow. Whether it shows up now, in the near future, or even in the harvest of your own children, the principle remains. God cannot be mocked.

A thief will one day experience theft.

He didn’t love you—he erased you.

You stopped speaking up to avoid his rage.
You started saying “I’m fine” to survive.
You got used to being dismissed, unappreciated, ignored—
And you trained yourself to say, “It’s okay,” just to keep the peace.

You began disappearing… one piece at a time.

Every time he put himself first,
Every time he twisted the truth,
Every time he made you the problem,
You shrank a little more.

Until the woman you were became a version of yourself
just gasping for air beneath the surface.

That’s what narcissistic abuse does.
It doesn’t leave bruises—it buries you quietly.

But hear me when I say this:

No man is worth losing yourself over.
No man deserves your silence, your sacrifice, or your soul.

You don’t owe loyalty to the one who tried to erase you.
You owe yourself rescue.

And if you’re reading this…
Maybe the only way to save your life
is to finally stop drowning in his.

Because you didn't want to lose him, you lost yourself in the process.
You became a girl who kept being mistreated and you formed a habit of saying "I'm used to it".

You became a girl who kept being unappreciated and you began to tell yourself "It's okay".

You became a girl who kept being undervalued and you learned how to say "I'm fine".

You became a girl who kept being put last and you naturally reacted with "It's whatever".

You became a girl who kept being taken for granted and you dealt with it by repeating
"Everything's okay".

You became a girl who kept being unhappy and you regularly told people "I'm gonna be fine".

And if you're reading this right now, then you need to understand that no guy is worth losing yourself for, no guy is worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness, and no guy is worth tormenting yourself over for the sake of making him happy.

At this point, perhaps losing him is the only way you'd be able to get yourself back because as much as you wouldn't want this to be true, he's the only thing that's in your way of finding yourself and he's the only reason you've lost yourself for so long.

The wrong man in your life will teach you that you can do it all by yourself‼️

The right man will know you can, but will not let you.
He will stand by your side, share the load and assist you in thriving together.

Because in a true partnership, strength is found in unity, not isolation. And it's a real man's job to set the tone in a relationship. This is why showing up for her and being consistent is so important.

She can't feel safe with you if you're not leading properly.

Husband's you must read this!!

Don’t always think a woman will leave you because you don’t have money.
A REASONABLE WOMAN won't leave you because you don't have money. A woman will actually leave you:

1) When you refuse to change your ways or character!
2) When you don’t have time for her!
3) When you make your being so difficult for her to understand you!
4) When you don’t want to communicate with her!
5) When you don’t trust her!
6) When you don’t care about how she feels!
7) When you try to throw things back in her face from her past!
8)When you suspect her to stay when you keep lying, not treating her right and not being loyal!
9)When you confide in other people more than her!
10) When you’re not proud of her, and belittle her accomplishments!

TikTok · Motivation Wave 93.8K likes, 969 comments. “When a woman feels unappreciated, she doesn't always leave - "The Rock".”