MANDY

“
STRIKING
"Media mourns Brian Banda?”

Brian Banda is not being mourned by the media alone; he is being mourned across the breadth of Malawi by politicians at the highest level, professionals, ordinary citizens, the peasant farmer in my village in Bembeke, and a grandmother in Chitipa who may never have met him but knew and valued his voice.

You simply cannot reduce the passing of such a national icon to a loss for the media. Brian belonged to the nation.

His influence, his voice and his public presence transcended the profession that gave him a platform, and endeared him to the peopke he served.

His passing has touched a nation far beyond the newsroom, the microphone and the television studio.

Let our odes reflect the magnitude of the national grief. Let us give his passing the weight it deserves.

We cannot confine Brian’s legacy to one professional fraternity. Meimei Maponzo

I SAY NO. I REFUSE.

WHEN DID HEALING BECOME A LUXURY?

Lonely? Subscribe.
Burnt out? Buy a retreat.
Anxious? Book a session.
Heartbroken? Find a coach.

Healing has become an industry, and pain has become a market.
Do not get me wrong. Therapists deserve to be paid. Their years of study, emotional labor, and expertise have value. This is not an argument against therapy. It is a question about the world we have built around it.

How did we get to a place where the people who often need help the most are the ones least able to afford it?

The young graduate drowning in debt. The single mother choosing between groceries and a counselling session. The unemployed father whose anxiety grows every time another job application goes without feedback..

We tell people, "Get help." But what we sometimes mean is, "Get help if you can pay for it."

Quite ironic huh? and very disturbing actually. Financial pressure is one of the leading contributors to stress, anxiety and depression. Yet the very system meant to ease that burden often introduces another bill into the equation.

Perhaps the bigger question is not why therapy costs money; but may be why we have created societies where so many people need therapy for daily survival.

If you ask me, a healthy society should not only treat broken people. How about stop producing broken people?

We cannot continue financing peace of mind as is the case. May be the problem is not just our mental health. Maybe it is the world we have all accepted as normal.
Chao!

STEP UP OR STEP ASIDE...

Growing up, most of us carry a very idealistic picture of the kind of future we want to have and how life should unfold for us, this includes building images in our minds of the spouses we want to settle down with in marriage.

A woman without children may dream of marrying a man who has never fathered children before. A man may desire to start a family from scratch with woman of his dreams.

Interestingly life has changed, family dynamics keep evolving. Family structures have drastically been altered.

And sadly, marriage itself has come under attack. As a believer in God, I cannot ignore the reality that the marriage institution is facing enormous challenges.

Marriages are breaking apart at alarming rates. Separations have become order of the day.

Having children outside marriage is the new normal. It is no longer unusual to meet decent, loving and marriage-ready people who already have children from previous relationships.

And then there is an issue of delayed marital settlement.

This reality has forced many people into situations they never imagined for themselves.

People are settling down because of age, pressure from society, and loneliness or simply the desire to be loved.

As such people are entering relationships involving children without deep thought, wisdom, prayer or honest self-examination.

The sad reality is that many people are falling in love with spouses but rejecting the children that come with them.

That contradiction has become the source of cruelty in many homes. We are seeing an increase in abusive stepfathers and stepmothers thus raising emotionally wounded children.

But how do you claim to love someone while mistreating the very children connected to their heart?

Those children existed before you arrived. They matter deeply to your spouse, and they always will.

No amount of jealousy, bitterness or competition will ever erase that bond.

Before committing to someone who has children, pause and search your heart honestly. Ask yourself difficult questions.

Do I truly have the emotional capacity to love these children? Can I support them without resentment? Am I prepared to share attention, finances, time and affection? Can I become a safe space rather than a source of pain?

If the answer is no, seek counsel. Pray about it. Or respectfully walk away before creating a chapter of pain in that child’s life.

It is unfair for someone to survive the heartbreak of a failed relationship only to enter another emotionally toxic environment because of how their children are being treated.

Never put someone you claim to love in a position where they must choose between you and their children.

Yes, I am aware that some stepchildren can be difficult, a sheer nuisance, disrespectful, rebellious or manipulative but we will leave that for another entry in a not-so-distant future.

On this beautiful Sunday let us focus on the many innocent and well-behaved children whose only “crime” is that life happened and they no longer live under the same roof with both biological parents.

So, when you choose to love someone who has children, understand that you are also choosing responsibility. You may never replace the biological parent, and that is perfectly fine. You are not there to replace anyone.

In fact, it is both an honor and a privilege to help raise souls you did not bring into this world. There is something deeply noble about loving children who owe you nothing biologically.

You are not called a stepparent for nothing. God has trusted you with an assignment to step in when needed and step up when possible.

Chao!

STOP OVERSHARING ONLINE

We are living in a generation that has a growing appetite and pressure to announce their every blessing and milestone in life.

A new car must first get those likes before it even covers its first kilometer, a hotel getaway is almost incomplete without the numerous Instagram photos for people to see and admire.

People are sharing every detail of their marriages, relationships and every achievement that comes with them. No one is sharing their struggles really.

But must everything be shared online? That is my million-dollar question for us this Sunday.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing well in life. It is God’s desire for us to succeed. Jesus speaks in John 15 verse 8 that “Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit…” so you can see that growth and multiplication or progress in life is what God prescribes for his children.

The problem begins however when we cultivate an unhealthy urge to constantly prove to the world that we are happy and doing well in life.

You see, when people are genuinely secure and fulfilled, they rarely feel the need to seek validation from online strangers.
Need I say that real success speaks for itself.

It is sad to note that many people have destroyed their own peace and happiness through unnecessary oversharing of their business online.

Those comments, likes and shares in the comment section are not always coming from people who genuinely wish you well, most of them are people that would like to see you fail.

They will celebrate with you in public, secretly compete with you, take screenshots and discuss you in their other circles and then quietly wait for your downfall.

I hate to be a bearer of bad news, some of these people are the very friends you trust the most.

Be careful, the internet has the magic of turning innocent blessings into targets of jealous, ill will and hate. We have seen wealthy individuals, celebrities, and politicians, for example, become victims of what they ‘innocently’ shared about their lives with the world through the internet.

Some political careers have died; others are on their deathbed due to oversharing and unnecessary exposure.

I do not mean that our timelines should be dull, boring and lifeless; that is not what I am saying at all. Social media can still be used positively to educate, inspire, entertain and connect with others.

However, let us exercise wisdom, caution, restraint and responsibility over what we are feeding the world with about our lives.
Remember attention is not support.

Not everyone watching your life online is clapping for you.

Understand the value of privacy, grow in silence. Some plans succeed better when they are protected from unnecessary noise and pressure.

There is wisdom in keeping people guessing instead of constantly explaining your life to the internet.

What you do not share can never be weaponized against you!

Chao!

2026/05/10....

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

The Lord has shown me mercy....

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