jmaedaniel

Sunday
Sweat
Sesh

Ft: my finger covering part of my pic, no makeup and the ever so faint outline of my abs (I’ll see you again someday, bby)

I’m horrible at being a fitspo, but I’m great at being myself.

I like it like that.
I think I’ll keep it like that.

Have the perfect Sunday, y’all ✨

Get with operation Thiccc and bendy 2021 or get outta here 👋🏼 (jk I love you don’t leave)

I am a few days into a little summer challenge I started for myself.

30 consecutive days of hot (bikram) yoga.

I HATE hot yoga.
It kicks my ass. Every. Fcking. Time.
And I don’t like getting my ass kicked: I kick to be the kicker of asses.

But.
I haven’t been myself lately. More than lately actually. I haven’t been myself for months.

Have I been having fun? Yes. But too much fun.
Have I been hitting the gym? Yes. But only bc I felt like I HAD to, not because I love it.
Have I been eating right? Yes. But only bc I was trying to compensate for the alcohol or late night snackies.

I love my body
I hate my body
I love my body
I hate my body

I have been having a constant back and forth inner dialogue and been spending so much time picking myself apart and not any time putting myself back together that I have been more lost and unsure of who I am than EVER before.

Bikram yoga is challenging, it’s new for me, it is forcing me to dial in and listen to my body, love my body, push my body.

I’m only 6 days into it and already:
I have been sleeping better than I have for MONTHS
I have better energy
My mood is better
I FEEL better in my body

I forgot that I am a person who NEEDS to be challenged. I HAVE to be, otherwise I get complacent- exactly what I despise in others.

Hot yoga may not be the answer to all my problems, but it sure as hell is kicking my ass in a better direction than I was headed 2 weeks ago.

And, that, my friends- is a win.

Xoxo
💅🏼

I got my first really, truly, distastefully nasty massage on here the other week.

Swipe to read it.

Did it bother me?

I acted like it didn’t- I even antagonized whoever sent it by posting it on my story and messaging them, asking them to message me from their real account and talk to me like a man.

But did it hurt my little feelers?

Actually- yeah. It did.

It clearly came from someone who has a personal issue with me. And no one wants to receive a message like that- right?

But honestly what bothers me the most about it- the fact that it happens.

Not to only to me, but to anyone.

The fact that the internet and social media opens the door to people being able to say anything about anyone and hide behind a screen is complete BS.

When did human decency stop being a thing?

You don’t know what is going on in someone’s head.

That message could have put me over the edge, if I wasn’t where I am mentally. I mean, s**t, I just got done talking about how I’m lost and lonely in a new city!

It could have triggered old disordered eating patterns for me, something I have NEVER spoken on on here, and something I have to actively work against daily.

It could have broken me.

It didn’t, because I know that message says a hell of a lot more about the sender than it does me- but pretending like it didn’t affect me would be a lie.

✨I don’t lie.

✨I also am, in fact, not a train wreck- I run my own business, work for myself, pay my own bills, fight my own fights.
✨I have not gained 40 lbs (not that my weight is anyone’s business)- I have gained weight (after prepping for almost a full year I NEEDED TO) and my ass is FIRE currently thanks to it 🔥🤗
✨I am not a C**t. That is just distasteful.
✨ and I happen to be the happiest I have ever been, thanks to no one but myself.

Point being:
We all have hurtful or hateful thoughts about others at times, but we also have no idea what the effect of this words could be.

Let’s collectively choose to think before we speak- okay?

*except for the guy I put on blast on my story- you deserved that 😂🤦🏽‍♀️*

Just tryin to build a bookshelf over here 🤷🏽‍♀️

I HAVE always been a bookworm, after all
📚🐛

I’m lonely.

I talked about this yesterday on my story but wanted to elaborate a bit more.

I’ve been feeling super lost lately.
Some days I’m homesick.
Some I’m lonely.
Some I love life.
Some I make decisions I wish I hadn’t.
Some I feel great about the decisions I make.
I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
I don’t know if I want to stay in Houston.

A lot, there is a LOT I don’t know.

And- that’s okay.

I know I don’t want to keep going back to nursing.
I know I want to keep coaching clients for the pure joy of doing it.
I know I want to keep training hard af in the gym bc it brings me the most joy.
I know I’m getting really sick of dating.
I know I want to try and get into a sales position.
I know I miss my dog.
And my family.
I know I want to read more.

I also know that I come on here and talk about being a sassy independent lil miss who takes herself to dinner and goes out solo making friends and crashing weddings (😅)

But I also know I want to talk about the bad days- bc those are the real days.

I don’t share that I’m lonely or homesick or lost bc I want pity- I share it because it’s a normal, human emotional experience and there is nothing wrong with it.

Going through these feelings makes me better. It makes me reflect on who I am and what I’m doing. It forces me to grow. Forces me to push past the fear and discomfort and lean into the resistance.

There is nothing wrong with being lonely, sad, lost etc. I’m human. You’re human.

Instead of hiding from those feelings- look em dead in the eye and acknowledge them. Sticking your head in the sand never helped anyone.

So. Yes, I’m lonely. But I’m also perfectly okay with it.

To be clear:

Posting a picture of your b***y does NOT mean:
You are thirsty.
You are cocky
You are conceited
You are attention seeking.
You are needy.
You are lonely.
You are desperate.
You are a hoe.

It means: Whatever. The. F. You. Want. It. To. Mean.

For me?
These pics mean:
I am finally confident in my body after years and YEARS of being self conscious

It is me flexing on my old self, the one who used to judge girls for doing EXACTLY this.

It is me giving myself permission to love and accept the body I have built.

It gives me space to talk to women who are unsure or not confident in their bodies.

It allows me to talk about MY insecurities and MY struggles and, for me, it is very VERY therapeutic. (That means this is more for me, than YOU)

It doesn’t hurt as a friendly reminder that this b is single as a Pringle 😜
Chill, that’s a joke (no It’s not. Is it? Yes. No?¿)

I finally got comfortable talking about my body looking like a normal woman’s body (you know- one with cellulite and rolls and jiggle here and there) and conversations in my DMs went from hyping me up about the new ab vein I found that week in prep to REAL conversations about women feeling seen, and understood and “if you can do it so can i”

I’ll take that trade off any MF day.

So show yo ass, sis. Why the HELL not?

***ybuilding ***ygrowth🍑

Just me and my sweaty ass poppin in to say
hi 👋🏼

I haven’t been posting my normal stories/pics/client wins/personal views/coffee talk with Jules etc- for a MINUTE. (Though I’m thinking about bringing them back bc i really enjoyed my coffee talks 😜)

To say that the last 2 months have been
B U S Y would be a severe undersell.

I went to Mexico, had a bachelorette party, friend came to visit, went to Denver, Tampa, and between all that I’ve met/made a crap ton of new friendships/relationships in Houston.

Some days I feel like a failure bc I am not in prep right now- therefore my fitness and health are a priority but they aren’t my single focus in life.

And right when I start to feel guilty or like I’m letting myself down- a friend calls me up or I have a heart to heart with someone and I keep hearing the same thing over and over…

“Julia, im proud of you”
“Girl, you’re DOING it”
“You are living your life”

I am.
I really am.

All this is to say: sometimes the things you say to people leave a much deeper mark than you realize. Sometimes that compliment or comment you weren’t going to say is EXACTLY what they needed to hear.

Therefore:
I am proud of you.
I believe in you.
I am here for you.

Have a great Monday, yall ❤️ (and I’d like to see someone our swamp ass me in the gym- you won’t 😤😂)

I go by “Jules” now.

Up until about 6 months ago the only people who called me Jules were some family members and a few friends.

I decided that I LIKE Jules better than Julia.

Jules is making her own way.
Jules is trying new things.
Jules is intentionally putting herself in uncomfortable situations to encourage growth.
Jules is posting pics with her back rolls showing up and she feels good about them.
Jules is open minded, and confident, and sassy, and Independent, and unstoppable.
But. most importantly- Jules is really really fu***ng HAPPY.

And Jules is finally FINALLY to a point where that happiness isn’t coming from a relationship, or a job, or how her body looks or the attention she gets for her body.

Jules is happy, because she chooses to be.

It’s taken a hot minute to get here, but I truly, deeply, honestly hope that everyone gets to this point- some day.

Happy hump day, y’all 💕

Recap of my borderline hot mess week👇🏼

✨Plan girls trip to Colorado
🤦🏽‍♀️ Miss flight out
🙄 fly out a day later
💃🏻 spent a few days with my girls, hiking, catching up, exploring
🙃 extend trip a few days so I could explore Denver solo
😬 reschedule flight out to Tampa 3 separate times
☀️finally flying out to Tampa to meet up with MORE friends for a fun filled fest weekend.

Might I add that when I packed for said girls trip I was only supposed to be gone for 3 days.

Kinda loving the nomad/gypsy life though 😂

Bets on me actually flying home to Houston on Tuesday as I’m scheduled??