Brain Dame

How I Turned a Detox Bath into a Five-Alarm Fire 🔥🛁

After five weeks away from home helping both of my daughters welcome their new babies into the world, I was finally back in my own bathroom.

To say it had been an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement.

There were newborn snuggles, sleepless nights, joyful moments… and then our precious grandson, Mighty Matthew, fighting for his life in the NICU. My heart had been stretched in every direction imaginable.

I was ready.

Ready to exhale.
Ready to let go.
Ready to settle my body, quiet my mind, and reconnect with God.

So I did what any self-respecting Neuro Coach would do.

I drew myself a detox bath. Then I turned on a beautiful sermon about the verse:

“Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

Perfect.

The bath recipe called for lavender essential oil. I couldn’t find it. No problem, I thought.

Wintergreen smells invigorating! That’ll help me get motivated for the day.

Friends…

This was not my finest moment.

Within minutes my legs and bottom felt like they had been introduced to molten lava. 🔥

The peaceful music continued playing.

“Be still…”

Trust me…I was still.

Not because I had reached a deep state of meditation.

Because moving HURT!

I finally escaped the tub looking like a boiled lobster with legs on fire, frantically searching for aloe vera while wondering if I’d accidentally invented a new form of self-inflicted torture.

Thankfully, the aloe won.

Wintergreen lost.

But as I sat there laughing at myself, something deeper dawned on me.

This is exactly how many trauma survivors approach healing.

We desperately want peace.

So we work harder.

Research more.

Read another book.

Listen to another podcast.

Take another course.

Try another technique.

Push ourselves just a little further…

Because somewhere along the way we learned that healing comes through striving.

But what if it doesn’t?

What if healing isn’t another mountain to climb?

What if it begins when we finally stop trying to earn our rest?

The irony wasn’t lost on me.

While I was literally listening to a sermon telling me to be still, I had unknowingly chosen the one ingredient that set my nervous system on high alert.

Sound familiar?

Many of us have spent our entire lives doing exactly that. We long for peace…but unknowingly choose what keeps us activated.
We long for rest…but fill every quiet moment with more doing. We long for healing…but believe we have to exhaust ourselves to get there.

Maybe that’s why Psalm 46 doesn’t say,

“Work harder and know that I am God.”

It says,

“Be still.”

Sometimes the most courageous thing a survivor can do isn’t to try harder.

It’s to rest. It’s to trust. It’s to believe that healing isn’t something we force. It’s something we receive.

So today, my nervous system learned two important lessons:

1. Wintergreen and hot bath water are not a match made in heaven.
2. Neither are striving and healing.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an aloe vera date with my legs… and I think I’ll stick with lavender next time. 🌿😉

🧠 Brain Food: Have you ever had one of those moments where life handed you an unforgettable lesson in the funniest way possible? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.

Our family is once again asking for your prayers for our precious grandson, Matthew. ❤️🙏

First, thank you.

There are simply no words to express our gratitude for the thousands of prayers that have been lifted on Matthew’s behalf. We truly believe we are witnessing a miracle. With his diagnosis, many never expected him to survive this long, yet here he is, continuing to surprise everyone with his strength. We know his medical team has worked tirelessly, but we also believe God has been guiding every decision, every hand, and every step of this journey.

Today marks another significant milestone.

The doctors have decided to remove Matthew’s breathing tube.

Originally, they planned to leave him intubated because there is still a strong possibility that he will need additional surgery. But after carefully weighing everything, they believe it’s time to give him this opportunity.

This is wonderful news, but it also comes with some very specific prayer requests.

Because Matthew has been intubated for nearly his entire life, babies can experience challenges after the breathing tube is removed. Please pray specifically for:

❤️ That he breathes strongly and comfortably on his own.
❤️ That his airway remains open without swelling or obstruction.
❤️ That his vocal cords function normally and are not injured.
❤️ That he is able to swallow safely and develops a strong suck and swallow reflex.
❤️ That he does not aspirate milk or saliva into his lungs.
❤️ That his lungs remain healthy and free from infection.
❤️ That his oxygen levels stay strong without needing to be re-intubated.
❤️ That his brain and body tolerate this transition peacefully.
❤️ That every muscle involved in breathing, swallowing, coughing, and protecting his airway works exactly as God designed.
❤️ That the medical team is filled with wisdom and discernment with every decision they make.
❤️ And, as always, that God’s perfect will be accomplished in Matthew’s life.

Watching this little warrior fight has changed all of us. He has already touched countless lives, strengthened our faith, and reminded us that every single day is a gift.

Please continue praying for our sweet miracle.

Every prayer matters.
Every prayer is heard.
And every prayer gives us hope.

Thank you for standing with our family. We are more grateful than you’ll ever know. 💙🙏

Happy 250th Independence Day, America! 🇺🇸

Today we celebrate 250 years since a courageous group of ordinary men and women chose liberty over submission, conviction over comfort, and faith over fear. They understood that freedom is never handed to a people. It must be valued, protected, and, when necessary, defended at great personal cost.

This anniversary carries special meaning for my family. One of my ancestors, John Stark, gave us the timeless words:

“Live Free or Die: Death Is Not the Worst of Evils.”

Those words were never just a battle cry. They were a declaration that some things are more valuable than mere existence. Freedom. Conscience. Faith. Truth. Human dignity.

The freedoms we enjoy today were purchased with extraordinary sacrifice. Countless men and women gave their lives, their families, their futures, and their fortunes so that generations they would never meet could live in liberty.

As someone who has spent much of my life helping people find freedom from trauma, abuse, fear, and shame, this day reminds me that freedom has many faces. Political freedom matters. Spiritual freedom matters. Emotional freedom matters. Freedom to speak the truth. Freedom to worship God. Freedom to heal. Freedom to become who God created us to be.

May we never take these gifts for granted.

May we honor those who paid the price by living courageously, protecting liberty for the next generation, and remembering that true freedom always carries responsibility.

Happy 250th Birthday, America.

May God continue to bless the United States of America, and may we remain a people who choose truth, courage, and freedom for generations to come.

🇺🇸 Happy Independence Day! 🇺🇸

It’s Never About the Poop💩

Today I witnessed one of the greatest neuroscience experiments I’ve ever seen.

The research subjects? My grandkids.

A two-year-old.

A four-year-old.

And one very large but ordinary bag of dog p**p.

Last night my daughter warned me as she prepped me for babysitting my grandkids.

“When you walk the dog, someone gets to carry the p**p bag to the trash. Just so you know… the kids fight over it so I keep track of whose turn it is.

I blinked.

“Fight… over… p**p?”

Surely she was kidding.

Today the dog did his business on our walk.

My daughter scooped it up, tied the little bag, and handed the prized possession to my eager two-year-old grandson.

His chest puffed out.

He smiled from ear to ear.

He marched onward holding that little bag like he’d just won an Olympic medal.

Meanwhile…

My four-year-old granddaughter completely unraveled.

Real tears.

Real heartbreak.

For at least four solid minutes until it was dropped into the trash can.

“It was MY TURN to carry the p**p!”

She cried the entire walk home while her little brother proudly carried his fragrant trophy.

I’ll admit it.

I laughed and laughed at my granddaughter for the first time in my life. I couldn’t help it!

Because from an adult perspective…

It’s so gross…p**p.

But then my Neuro Coach brain kicked in.

Her brain wasn’t reacting to p**p.

It was reacting to meaning.

Her nervous system wasn’t saying,

🚨 “Alert! We stepped in p**p!” (Then I’d have had a melt down)

It was saying,

“I wasn’t chosen.”

“That wasn’t fair.”

“I lost a privilege.”

And suddenly I was comparing toddlers to adults.

Adults aren’t nearly as different as we’d like to think.

Someone else gets promoted.

Someone else gets the recognition.

Someone else gets invited.

Someone else gets the opportunity.

Someone else gets the blessing we’ve been praying for.

And somewhere deep inside, our nervous system quietly whispers…

“It should’ve been my turn.”

“It’s not fair.”

“I deserve better.”

Here’s what neuroscience teaches:

The event itself is rarely what creates our emotional response.

It’s the meaning our brain attaches to the event.

Our brains are extraordinary meaning-making machines.

Sometimes they create hope.

Sometimes they create resilience.

Sometimes…

They convince us our worth just walked away inside a tiny plastic bag of dog p**p.

Neuroscientists call this cognitive appraisal.

Scripture says,

“Take every thought captive.”

Different language.

Same principle.

We don’t always choose what happens to us.

But we can learn to question the stories our brain automatically writes.

Because sometimes…

The story is true.

And sometimes…

It’s just p**p. 💩😂

🧠 The Brain Dame
Rewire the Mind. Heal the Heart. Laugh whenever possible.

💬 Now I have to know…

What’s the funniest thing your child (or even your own brain 😄) has ever treated like a full-blown emergency that, in hindsight, was completely ridiculous?

Tell me your story in the comments! ⬇️

If this made you laugh, share it with someone whose brain occasionally writes dramatic stories. (Let’s be honest… that’s all of us. 😂)

Follow for more real-life neuroscience lessons.

“Maybe you were never ‘too much.’
Maybe you were carrying too much.”

If you survived childhood sexual abuse, there’s a good chance someone taught you to question yourself.

“You’re too sensitive.”

“You’re too emotional.”

“You’re too needy.”

Those labels often become the soundtrack playing quietly in the background of adulthood.

But here’s what neuroscience tells us:

A child’s nervous system is wired to adapt in order to survive.

When your need for safety, protection, comfort, or love wasn’t met, your brain didn’t conclude, “The adults failed me.”

It concluded, “Something must be wrong with me.”

That wasn’t truth.

It was survival.

The little child inside you wasn’t asking for too much.

They were asking for what every developing brain requires:

To feel safe.
To be protected.
To be loved.
To matter.

Those aren’t excessive needs.

They’re human needs.

So if you’ve spent years believing you’re “too much,” I’d like to offer you a different possibility.

Maybe you’re deeply compassionate because you know what suffering feels like.

Maybe you’re incredibly empathetic because you learned to read every room to stay safe.

Maybe your heart isn’t broken.

Maybe it simply learned to work overtime.

Healing begins when we stop judging the adaptations that once protected us and start honoring the child who deserved so much better.

You were never too much.

You were always enough.

Believe it and receive it! Share if this resonates with you and you want to encourage someone else❣️

And you still are. 🧠💕

My ❤️ goes out to all people in NICU’s hoping their tiny bundle of joy survives. That’s been my experience for 17 days now.

Brain Dame 🧠 Rewire the Mind. Heal the Heart. Rise Stronger. Break free from survival mode and create a life you love through neuroscience, faith, and proven methods for lasting transformation. 💕

Did your grandmother accidentally know neuroscience before neuroscience knew neuroscience? 🧠✍️

If you’ve ever wondered why you remember something better after writing it down instead of typing it…

Your brain has an answer.

Recent neuroscience research using high-density EEG found that when people write by hand, large networks across the brain become active and communicate with one another in ways that are far less pronounced during typing. Regions involved in movement, vision, attention, sensory processing, and memory all have to work together.

In other words…

Writing isn’t just recording information.

It’s building it.

Think about what happens every time you form the letter “A.”

Your brain has to remember its shape.

Your eyes guide your hand.

Your fingers make dozens of tiny adjustments.

Your wrist stabilizes the movement.

Your brain constantly checks, corrects, and refines every stroke.

Now multiply that by every single letter on the page.

That’s a full-body workout for your nervous system.

Typing is wonderfully efficient.

But every “A” is created by pressing the exact same key.

Your brain simply has fewer problems to solve.

And here’s where it gets really interesting…

Researchers have also found that students who take notes by hand often understand material better than students who type verbatim on laptops.

Why?

Because handwriting is slower.

And that “disadvantage” becomes its greatest advantage.

Since your hand can’t keep up with every word, your brain is forced to ask:

💭 What’s actually important?
💭 How would I explain this in my own words?
💭 What deserves to stay?

That process isn’t slowing learning.

It is learning.

Your brain isn’t a photocopier.

It’s a meaning-making machine.

The moment you summarize, organize, and translate information into your own words, you’re laying down stronger neural pathways than if you simply transcribe someone else’s thoughts.

This doesn’t mean technology is the enemy.

I type almost everything.

You’re reading these words because I typed them.

But when I really want something to stick…

A new idea.

A Bible verse.

A goal.

A prayer.

A breakthrough.

A lesson I never want to forget.

I reach for a pen.

Sometimes the fastest way to build a stronger brain…

…is to slow your hand down just enough for your brain to catch up. 🧠❤️

Worthy of Love

One of the things that leaves me speechless these days is watching my daughter Kassie and her husband Jonathan love their son.

Not because he’s healthy.

Not because life is easy.

Not because anyone promised them a happy ending.

But simply because he’s theirs.

When Matthew was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, they were immediately introduced to a world of statistics, probabilities, risks, and outcomes.

Numbers.

Percentages.

Predictions.

And one recommendation that came quickly and often: end the pregnancy.

But they didn’t.

In fact, after learning the severity of his diagnosis, they intentionally chose the name Matthew, which means “gift from God.”

Before they ever held him, they had already decided that his life had value.

Not because of what he might accomplish.

Not because of how long he might live.

Not because of what doctors predicted.

But because he existed.

Over these past months, I have witnessed something that cannot be measured by statistics.

Love.

Fierce love.

Sacrificial love.

The kind of love that shows up day after day regardless of the outcome.

The kind of love that says, “Your life matters because you are here.”

And the more I watch them love Matthew, the more I wonder if our culture has confused value with perfection.

Most of us would never say it out loud, but many of us live as though our worth depends on our performance.

If I’m successful enough…

Healthy enough…

Smart enough…

Productive enough…

Attractive enough…

Spiritual enough…

Then I matter.

Then I have value.

Then I deserve love.

But what if we’ve had it backward all along?

As a Neuro Coach, I’ve spent years helping people untangle the belief that their worth is tied to their achievements. The human brain is constantly scanning for evidence that we are enough. We chase approval. We chase accomplishment. We chase perfection.

Yet perfection remains permanently out of reach.

Matthew has never earned anyone’s love.

He has never accomplished anything the world would place on a résumé.

He has never spoken a word.

Yet he is deeply loved.

His value is unquestioned by those who know him.

Why?

Because human worth is not something we achieve.

It is something we possess.

From the moment we enter this world.

Actually, even before we do.

Every one of us entered life imperfect.

Every one of us has limitations.

Every one of us carries scars.

Some visible.

Some hidden.

None of them determine our worth.

Some of the people who have added the most value to my life were not the strongest, smartest, wealthiest, healthiest, or most accomplished.

They were simply willing to love.

To encourage.

To listen.

To care.

To show up.

Value isn’t found in perfection.

Value is found in connection.

In kindness.

In courage.

In compassion.

In the willingness to bring light into another person’s darkness.

Matthew’s life is teaching me something profound:

Our value is intrinsic, but our impact comes from what we do with the life we’ve been given.

As a grandmother, I find myself reflecting on another truth.

Every one of us is living on borrowed time.

Every one of us has an unknown number of days.

Every one of us will eventually leave this earth.

The difference is that most of us live under the illusion that we have more time than we do.

Matthew reminds me that life is not valuable because of how long it lasts.

Not because of its quality.

Not because of its productivity.

Not because of its perfection.

Life is valuable because it exists at all.

Because every human being bears the image of God.

Because every life has purpose.

Because every life has something to teach us.

And love?

Love is choosing to show up for that life, however long it may be.

What a gift this little boy has already been.

Not because he’s perfect.

But because he’s loved.

And perhaps that’s the lesson all of us need.

You don’t have to earn your worth.

You don’t have to prove your value.

You don’t have to become flawless before you matter.

You matter because you are here.

You matter because you were created by God.

You matter because your life has purpose.

And from that place of inherent worth, you can spend your days adding value to the lives of others.

Not because you’re perfect.

But because you’re loved.

Just like Matthew.💕

If you feel loved please comment, “I’m loved.”