Island Globe Tan

I FINISHED THAT BRUTAL IRONMAN 70.3! 🏊‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏅

Was I 22 minutes past the official 8:30 cutoff? Yes.

Did I still complete every one of those 70.3 miles, cross the finish line and receive my medal? ALSO YES.

Is anyone getting that medal back? Absolutely not. They’ll have to pry it from my swollen little fingers. 😂

🏊‍♀️ Swim: 32 minutes
🚴‍♀️ Bike: 4 hours, 3 minutes
🏃‍♀️ Run: 4 hours

I was almost perfectly on Ironman time across the three disciplines but apparently transitions count too. Rude. Apparently, putting on shoes and locating your will to live are timed activities.

The swim was spectacular. For 32 glorious minutes, I was basically an aquatic goddess.

The bike ride was wonderful. Look at me just cycling 56 miles as if I hadn’t previously considered bicycles to be two-wheeled instruments of death.

Then, two miles into the run, my hip submitted its resignation without notice and my sciatica began screaming like it had paid for a front-row seat.

It was BLAZING hot. As the owner of a tanning salon, I respect heat but the Tri-Cities sun was behaving very unprofessionally. I was wearing medical-grade compression because of my lipedema and lymphedema, so I was essentially shrink-wrapped like leftovers while attempting a half marathon.

My fingers swelled so badly that I couldn’t make a fist. My hands looked like two dinner rolls attached to my arms. My hip was out, my sciatica was furious, and I was bent over doing stretches and cat-cows on the course. At that point, I was part Ironman athlete, part roadside yoga instructor and part woman searching the pavement for loose change.

But I kept putting one painful foot in front of the other.

Then, with less than a mile remaining, someone came by in a golf cart more than once, apparently offering me an Uber.

A RIDE?!

You’ve got to be kidding me. I had already swum 1.2 miles, biked 56 and dragged my angry hip almost 13 miles through Satan’s outdoor tanning bed—and you thought I was getting into a golf cart that close to the finish line?

HELL TO THE NO. 😂

I left everything I had on that course. I legitimately moved my body as fast as I humanly could. There was no faster and I did exceptionally well.

There is absolutely no way I would have reached that finish line without Victor. He coached me, encouraged me, believed in me and stayed beside me through every high, every low and every dramatic declaration that I was never doing this again. Victor deserves his own medal and possibly hazard pay. ❤️

My son, his friend Chris and Victor witnessed me cross that finish line. God witnessed it too—and the medal is around my neck.

The clock can say whatever it wants. I completed every mile.

God is so d@mn good.

I FINISHED MY BRUTAL IRONMAN 70.3! 🎉🏅

I’m currently sitting in the car trying to post this because I can’t move, everything hurts, and I plan to sleep for the rest of my natural life. 😂

And YES… I got a new blister!

Tri-Cities, here I come.

Many years ago, when I moved from Portland to the Tri-Cities, I entered one of the most successful seasons of my career. It was a place I once called home a place that brought me success, joy, happiness, and memories that still live within me.

Now I am returning, but I am not the same woman who left.

This time, I am coming back carrying a dream that has taken ten years to become reality. I know I am going to cross that finish line in the place that once welcomed me home and witnessed an earlier version of my success. There is something beautifully full-circle about returning to the Tri-Cities to accomplish something that has demanded more from me than almost anything else in my life.

Ten years have passed between the birth of this dream and the moment in which I now stand two days away from Ironman 70.3.

I cannot tell you exactly how many races brought me here, but I can tell you that I have failed many times. I have misjudged the distance, underestimated the challenge, reached the limit of my preparation, and discovered that desire alone cannot always carry a body across a finish line.

But failure is an event, not an identity. It is information. It reveals the distance between who we are and who we are still becoming.

Perhaps that is why medicine is called a practice. The word itself contains a profound humility: no matter how intelligent, educated, or experienced we become, we are never finished learning. Wisdom does not begin when we know everything. It begins when we accept how much remains unknown and still possess the courage to continue.

Practice is humility in motion.

Looking back, I can see that God did not waste a single disappointment. Every race I could not finish stripped away an illusion, taught me something necessary, and asked me to return with greater wisdom. Every setback deepened my discipline. Every painful mile expanded my understanding of what faith actually requires.

Faith is not the certainty that the road will be easy. It is the decision to keep walking when the road has given you every reason to stop.

I do not know what Sunday will bring. I do not know what the water, the wind, or the final miles will ask of me. But I know that I am going to the finish.

And when I arrive, I will not arrive alone.

I will carry every former version of myself who dared to begin before she was ready. I will carry every unfinished race, every difficult lesson, every prayer spoken in exhaustion, and every moment when quitting would have been easier than believing.

That finish line will not represent one successful day. It will represent years of faith, transformation, perseverance, and practice.

On Sunday, by the grace of God, I am returning to a place I once called home and I am putting this ten-year dream into the books.

# Link to follow me on Sunday in the comments. Look for me under Tri Cities WA - Crystal Billings

☀️ WE’RE OPEN REGULAR HOURS TODAY! ☀️

Happy Labor Day! 🇺🇸 Come see us 9 AM–7:30 PM and get your glow on! ✨

Our Tan Till the End of the Year specials are HERE, plus our Red Light Therapy specials! ❤️☀️

These deals are limited time only, so don’t miss your chance to lock in some serious savings and keep glowing all fall long!

📍 Island Globe Tan
📞 509-465-9050

Come tan. Come glow. Come feel AMAZING. 🖤✨

TAN TILL THE END OF THE YEAR ☀️

More Glow. More You. More Savings.

Purchase a package now and enjoy unlimited tanning through December 31, 2026 — with options starting at just $237 + tax.

Choose the option that fits you best:

* Low Intensity — $237 | Save up to $679 | Add Red Light Therapy: $633

* Medium Intensity — $397 | Save up to $729 | Add Red Light Therapy: $783

* High Intensity — $447 | Save up to $749 | Add Red Light Therapy: $843

* VIP All Access + Spray — $537 | Save up to $779 | Add Red Light Therapy: $933

That means you can UV tan for as low as $1.98 per day through the end of the year!

❤️ TRY ISLA ROJA RED LIGHT THERAPY

Want to experience our medical-grade, full-body, 5-wavelength red light therapy bed without committing to a larger package?

Try 8 Red Light Therapy Sessions for only $99!
All 8 sessions must be used within 30 days and this special is available with the purchase of a tanning package.

⏰ LIMITED TIME ONLY

These offers expire September 20, 2026, so don’t wait!

Purchase in person, online, or over the phone at 509-465-9050.
www.SpokaneTan.Com

TAN TILL THE END OF THE YEAR ☀️

More Glow. More You. More Savings.

Purchase a package now and enjoy unlimited tanning through December 31, 2026 — with options starting at just $237 + tax.

Choose the option that fits you best:

* Low Intensity — $237 | Save up to $679 | Add Red Light Therapy: $633

* Medium Intensity — $397 | Save up to $729 | Add Red Light Therapy: $783

* High Intensity — $447 | Save up to $749 | Add Red Light Therapy: $843

* VIP All Access + Spray — $537 | Save up to $779 | Add Red Light Therapy: $933

That means you can UV tan for as low as $1.98 per day through the end of the year!

❤️ TRY ISLA ROJA RED LIGHT THERAPY

Want to experience our medical-grade, full-body, 5-wavelength red light therapy bed without committing to a larger package?

Try 8 Red Light Therapy Sessions for only $99!
All 8 sessions must be used within 30 days and this special is available with the purchase of a tanning package.

⏰ LIMITED TIME ONLY

These offers expire September 20, 2026, so don’t wait!

Purchase in person, online, or over the phone at 509-465-9050.
www.SpokaneTan.Com

Island Globe Tan Experience the Island difference at Island Globe Tan in Spokane where we not only care about your business we truly value your presence

❤️ MY PAIN IS COMPLETELY GONE. ❤️

One of the biggest reasons I invested in our Isla Roja Red Light Therapy Bed at Island Globe Tan was personal — I needed it for ME.

I’ve dealt with sciatica and intense burning pain down my leg, along with the heaviness and discomfort I experience with lipedema and lymphedema.

Since our bed arrived, I’ve been consistent with my red light regimen, and my personal results have been incredible:

✨ The burning pain in my leg is GONE
✨ My sciatica symptoms are GONE
✨ My legs feel lighter and less heavy
✨ I’m experiencing better mobility and recovery
✨ And overall, I just FEEL better

Red light therapy supports:

❤️ Pain relief & recovery
❤️ Healthy inflammation response
❤️ Circulation
❤️ Lymphatic function
❤️ Collagen & skin health
❤️ Energy, sleep & overall wellness

I can’t promise anyone else my results — every body is different — but I can absolutely share my experience.

And for me? This has been life-changing.

Come experience the Isla Roja for yourself. ❤️

📍 Island Globe Tan
🌴 More Than a Tan
✨ BOOK YOUR RED LIGHT SESSION TODAY!

I want to take a minute to give a HUGE shout-out to everyone who has come into Island Globe Tan since we reopened after the evacuations. ❤️

So many of you have stopped me and said, “I really respected that you stayed closed during the evacuation.”

And I want you to know — absolutely. There was never a question.

This entire experience has left me thinking about something bigger.

We can talk all day long about the things that are messed up in our society, but what I saw during this fire was also pretty incredible.

I saw technology. Communication. First responders. Emergency management. Neighbors helping neighbors.

We live in a time where an alert can be sent to thousands of people almost instantly and say:

There is danger. You need to leave. Now.

Think about how extraordinary that actually is.

Was it scary? Absolutely. But watching an entire community receive information, evacuate, respond and mobilize because of the technology and systems we have in place was fascinating to me.

And most importantly, to my understanding, not one life was lost in this fire. That is something worth being incredibly grateful for.

At the same time, I know there are families who weren’t able to simply return home when the evacuation was over. They lost their homes, their belongings and pieces of their lives. That devastation is very real.

So I want to do something a little more personal.

I have some very nice clothing that I don’t want to simply drop at a donation center if there is someone in our community who could genuinely use it after losing their home.

I have North Face outfits, Calvin Klein dress shirts and pants, and quite a few other really nice pieces.

I’d love to connect directly with an individual or family affected by the fire, find out their sizes and needs, and see if what I have could actually help them.

If you personally lost your home, or you know someone who did, please have them inbox me directly. I’d much rather have a conversation with someone and put these things into the hands of a person who needs them than simply drop off another bag somewhere.

This whole experience reminded me that community isn’t just about reopening our businesses and getting back to normal.

It’s about looking around afterward and asking, “Okay… who still needs us?” ❤️

And to every firefighter, first responder, emergency worker, dispatcher and person behind the scenes who helped protect this community — thank you.

P.S. To everybody else… 😂

Now that we’ve covered gratitude, community and helping our neighbors…

COME BUY SOME RED LIGHT THERAPY OR COME TAN. 😂☀️🔴

Your girl was CLOSED FOR A WEEK. The bills, however, apparently did not receive the evacuation notice. 🤣

🚨😂 MY RED LIGHT DEALER vs. CRYSTAL: THE ISLA ROJA CHRONICLES 😂🚨
aka: I accidentally got a PhD in red light therapy because there was no manual 🔴🧠

Red light dealer = “(kinda like a drug dealer but on a more holistic mitochondria level)

────────

EPISODE 1: THE DROP

🔴Red Light Dealer: “Your shipment is here.”
🙋‍♀️ Me: “OMG 😍”

🔴 Red Light Dealer: “Here A Bed in box.”
🙋‍♀️ Me: “Perfect! Where’s the manual?”

🔴 Red Light Dealer: “Manual?”
🙋‍♀️ Me: “Yes… instructions??”

🔴 Red Light Dealer: “Oh. You want that too?”

Me: 👁️👄👁️

No manual. No guide. Just:
“Here’s 41,600 LEDs. Good luck.”

🙋‍♀️ Me: “I HAVE QUESTIONS.” 😂

────────

EPISODE 2: IT DOESN’T FIT

🔴 Red Light Dealer: “It’s Fully assembled.”
🙋‍♀️ Me: “Amazing!”

Narrator: It was not amazing.

Because it didn’t fit through the door. 🚪😂

So we immediately start disassembling a VERY expensive bed 20 minutes after delivery.

Then rebuild it inside with FIVE PEOPLE holding a giant canopy like:

“LIFT!” “DON’T DROP IT!” “YOUR OTHER LEFT!”

🙋‍♀️ Me: 🥰 “This feels very wellness-coded.” 😂

────────

EPISODE 3: THE “BROKEN” LIGHTS

🙋‍♀️ Me: “3 lights don’t work 🚨”

🔴 Red Light Dealer: “They work.”
🙋‍♀️ Me: “I’m looking at them.”
🔴 Red Light Dealer: “Infrared.”

Me: 👁️👄👁️

Turns out…
my eyes just don’t see infrared.

So nothing was broken.
Just my eyeballs. 😂

────────

EPISODE 4: ME MEETING Hz

🔴 Red Light Dealer: “You customize Hz.”
🙋‍♀️ Me: “I customize who??”

Turns out Hz = Hertz = pulse frequency.

Me 2 weeks ago: “Hertz is a rental car company.”
Me now: 🤓 “Let’s optimize cellular frequency alignment…”

WHO AM I. 😂

────────

EPISODE 5: SURPRISE… YOU PROGRAM IT

🙋‍♀️ Me: “So presets are ready to go?”
🔴 Red Light Dealer: “You program.”

Me: 👁️👄👁️

“WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THIS??”

Apparently they thought:
“She’ll figure it out.”

The confidence is… alarming. 😂

────────

EPISODE 6: NOW I’M DOING MATH

Dose = irradiance × time
W/cm²
J/cm²
Hz
ATP
mitochondria

🧠: “SYSTEM OVERLOAD. DELETE ALL TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS TO CONTINUE.” 😂

────────

NOW FAST FORWARD 2 WEEKS

Someone asks me how it works.

🙋‍♀️ Me: 🤓
“633 and 660nm are visible red light, 810–940nm is near-infrared, then we calculate dose based on irradiance and pulse frequency…”

Everyone: 👁️👄👁️

Me internally:
✨ I sound extremely qualified ✨ 😂

────────

Meanwhile my dealer is somewhere like:
🔴 Red Light Dealer: “See? She never needed the manual.”

────────

FINAL THOUGHTS

At this point I’ve learned more science in 2 weeks than my brain was prepared for.

So now I just:

🔴 get in
🔴 press button
🔴 trust mitochondria

and say:

🧬 I brought you the good stuff. Do your thing.” 😂

────────

COMING NEXT WEEK:

🔴 Red Light Dealer: “There’s one more setting…”

🙋‍♀️ Me:
“OF COURSE THERE IS.” 😂

────────

At this point I don’t know if I run a wellness business…

or I’m just Spokane’s most accidental wavelength dealer. 🔴😂