Lindsay’s Fine Line Ink

𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐞 🤍

After Ash called Mom and told her, “Lindsay needs you right now,” Mom drove down from Tennessee, where she was still staying at my Grammy’s house.

I remember being so nervous for her. Mom was irate. I kept asking her to please just get my things so we could go. I was 100% worried for her safety.

At one point, they came face to face, and he tried to square off with Mom. I remember her telling him to think long and hard about his next move. A few other things were said that probably aren’t appropriate for me to share, but it wasn’t good.

If you know my Mom, you know there is a side of her you don’t cross, and I know that side runs deep in her family roots. That day, I was scared of what could happen.

I remember that drive feeling so long. I was so tired from not sleeping, I felt like I could barely make it. I drank several 5-hour Energy drinks to stay awake.

When we got to Grammy’s, she hugged me. She didn’t ask questions. She just sent me to her guest bedroom so I could get some sleep.

I still remember that. Being able to lie down without having to explain anything.

When it was time to pack up at Grammy’s and head back to Ohio, would you believe me if I told you I said I couldn’t do it? 😞

𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐞 | 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐝 🤍

I had to take a step back for a little while. Getting the building finished has required so much of my time lately, but I wanted to pick back up where I left off…with my sister, Ashley, coming to Georgia.

Before sharing this part of my story, I needed to ask for her blessing and make sure I was remembering things correctly. Without hesitation, she supported me. 🥹

Reliving it with Ash brought tears and things I struggled to even say out loud to her (FOR YEARS). There was a lot of embarrassment, shame, and guilt I’ve carried over feeling like I had put my sister in harm’s way. Like I had brought her into a scary situation and subjected her to the abuse and manipulation of my boyfriend at the time.

Before I could finish telling her how terrible I felt, how sorry I was, and how I wished I had been brave enough to protect her, she stopped me.

“You didn’t. I put myself there. I knew what I was getting into.”

Little did I know, there was more to this story than I had ever realized. What makes this conversation even more meaningful is that Ash and I had never talked about what happened, not once in all these years, until now.

For years, I didn’t know she already knew something was seriously wrong. Our Mom had reached out to Ash and asked if she could figure out what was going on. So she boarded a plane and came to see for herself.

All these years, I thought she had walked into something she knew nothing about. And I’ve carried the pain of that, the guilt of putting her in danger and the shame of feeling like I wasn’t brave enough to protect her.

Finding out she knew something was wrong, and chose to come anyway, has helped me release so much of what I’ve carried.

One of the most beautiful things my sister could have ever done for me was stop me in that moment and tell me she knew what she was getting herself into. That I needed to release myself from that guilt.

She came to see what was happening to me. And all these years later, she’s still helping me in ways she may never fully understand.

I love you, Nay Nay. 🤍

Pieces of Me 🤍
𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦: 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵.

The final straw was Christmas. And even then, I don’t think I would have gotten away from him if it weren’t for what happened when my sister flew from Arizona to Atlanta.

I was nervous the entire time she was at my apartment. We had plans to drive up to Tennessee to spend Christmas with family. As wonderful as it was to be with them, I dreaded going back to the apartment. I was worried something bad would happen, that my sister would notice what was going on, or that he would be inappropriate with her. He was already hinting at things and asking very inappropriate questions.

When we got back, he was drunk. I knew it was headed toward a bad situation.

This is hard to admit, but I did what he told me to do. He wanted me to leave him and my sister in the living room so he could “talk” to her.

I went into the bathroom. For those few minutes, I was on pins and needles, afraid of what might happen.

Then she yelled my name.

I ran out to her and confronted him. “What are you doing?”

To protect my sister’s privacy and honor the seriousness of what happened, all I will say is that he attempted to attack her.

The altercation between him and me moved into the bedroom. He was choking me. Somehow, I found the courage to tell him to get out, even though I was terrified that saying it might make things worse. But I think he knew my sister wasn’t going down without a fight. He left immediately.

She and I tried to get me a plane ticket so I could leave with her for Arizona, but the flights were booked. I remember being terrified he would come back to the apartment. I knew it had to end. I had to get out.

So Sis called my Mom, who was still in Tennessee, and said, “Lindsay needs you right now”.

She drove down to get me.

Pieces of Me | A Little Pause, a Lot of Gratitude 🤍

I want everyone to know how beautiful life feels for me today. I know I’ve shared some hard things, but I hope you can also see the joy, love, and peace in the life I’m living now. I am okay. More than okay, honestly.

I’m in one of the strongest, most confident, and most sure places I’ve ever been as a person. I am blessed beyond measure, and I’m constantly reminded of how beautiful my life has turned out.

I’m in love with living. With loving people. With being a Mom and pouring into my family. With doing life alongside my husband, Nathan, and supporting each other’s dreams and aspirations. There is so much about this life that I prayed for, and I’m so thankful I get to live it.

So when you go back and read, please remember where I am today. For a long time, those experiences weighed on me. They don’t hold that same weight anymore. I’ve chosen to live, love my family, pour into myself, and give my life to the Lord.

Sharing my story is something I prayed about for a long time. These are deeply personal parts of my life, and opening them up for others to read took a lot of guts, thought and prayer.

But if even one young woman going through something similar reads my story and feels less alone, if she sees that her life can still become something beautiful, that she is worthy of love, and that God hasn’t forgotten her. Then I did what I was supposed to do.

There are more glimpses to share. Just know that the woman telling this story today loves her life and is so grateful she gets to live it. 🤍

My sweet Maddox. How are you so BIG? ♥️😭

Sometimes I look at you and wonder what kind of man you’ll become. Then I remember... Who you will become tomorrow is shaped by the love you receive today. That’s why we have to make every ordinary moment feel important.

Pieces of Me | Part 4 🤍
𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦: 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦.

The abuse didn’t begin all at once. First came the mental abuse and isolation. I think that messed me up more than anything. I could say something harmless, and somehow the conversation would turn into a fight. I was forced to spend hours explaining myself. Most of the time I didn’t know why. I was constantly exhausted and eventually I stayed mostly quiet and tried SO hard to have good days with him.

He was a heavy drinker, and when he was drunk, he was the devil.

Slowly, physical abuse started. I always remember him grabbing two of my fingers and rolling them so hard between his hands that it felt like my fingers were going to break. It would drop me to my knees and he’d keep going and laugh…like it was a game.

I remember him giving me this empty side glare. For no reason at all other than that’s how he looked at me. He had complete power over me. I was very afraid of him and he knew it.

It continued to get worse. He brought other women into our apartment. I was experiencing sexual abuse daily, along with the physical and mental abuse. By then, I became completely numb and a shell of a human. I was a very sad, broken down 19 year old girl.

The person I looked forward to seeing most was his sister and her girls. They were such a light in my life during that time. I loved being around them. 🤍